Tuesday, March 30, 2004
i can't resist not blogging today.. it's the 1 wk anniversary in 41 min!! hee... i dunno why, today felt extremely happy even tho i got a just pass mark for my mid term...
today dear pass me my long awaited letter... 1 wk le... 1 wk's worth of feelings is like an eternity's to me... hope it lasts for eternity and eternity... and dear, i know wat u mean by u cannot be here for eternity with me, but dear i hope we do have an eternity together...
life's simply quite hard with dear, u know... have to find a 27 cm step b4 i can get a proper hug from u... which we haven't found... haiz... why do u live in such a high altitude area? ha ha... ok ok, i know this can be solved, hee... but maybe the rarity makes us cherish each other more? hee...
i really appreciated ur efforts in meeting to go to sch together, tho i know it's quite inconvenient for u... haiz... i know i have to be understanding, but i think i'm being selfish for not insisting that we go to sch on our own... hee... ok, promise me tml and thu only? next time dun do this k?
counting down, half and hr... gotta do some stuff 1st and fend off mr tang yuan on the icq... date with u on msn later dear~ hee...
| posted by clouds at 11:07 PM
Monday, March 29, 2004
am i still in a dream? i'm i still sleeping? can someone slap me? can someone slap me back into reality? or am i really in reality now? ha ha...
these few days are really so magical... i nv felt this kind of feeling before... u know, having even 24 hrs with each other is not even enough? furthermore, we haven't even spent pass 24 hrs with each other in total since we got together on tue 2336... yesterday spent 9 hrs + with dear, and it's enough to motivate me to study hard today... and today's radio dedication dear had for me made me want to study more... dear, i simply hope to see u now, to tell u that u're simply the best, the sweetest dear... yes, i heard it, yes i heard the dedication, and thanks a lot to u as well, for appreciating me as much... :)
yup, formal proposal yesterday, but was cut short cos i was already tearing even before he started... silly gal rite? ha ha... i'm just too happy to have him by my side, to spend time with him alone... even the rain didn't dampen our spirits, but drew us closer... sang him our theme song... felt great to rest my head on ur shoulder, felt secure with u by my side, i'm not scared of anything anymore... dear, i'm so sorry i didn't eat dinner with u last nite, and talked all nite with u on the phone... tho i'm dead tired, and u're starving, i'm still hanging on to the line... hee... sorry dear, i promise to be more understanding ok?
love u lots... :)
| posted by clouds at 1:39 PM
Sunday, March 28, 2004
time now is 0606... i'm meeting u in 4 hrs time... if u decided to check my blog before u leave ur hse, u'll see this:) online at such wee hrs in the morning, such a funny feeling...
i can't sleep properly the whole nite, after toking to u... slept for only 4+ hrs, slowing becomin a panda... i can't wait to see wat u haf to say for me on friendster... dear, it's gd enuf already... i read ur testimonials for me, all the 3 testi u wrote for me, over and over again... from not knowing me well, to knowing me better, to announcing that u haf fallen in love with me... dear, i can't help it but love u more with every passing day... everyday... dear, it seems like an eternity, tho we're only officially together for 4 days, stepping into our 5th day...
today is gonna be the 1st whole day we're spending alone with each other... going to our secret huant, watching the sunset together...
dear, everything is heading towards us at top speed... like time really flies... especially time spent with u is never enough... and exams are coming as well, 2 wks... argh!! dear, i know i'm enough motivation for u to study, but can u help motivate me? keep me away from my comp, my letter pad, my thoughts of u for as long as i can concentrate? i dunno whether studying with u is gonna work, at least it keeps u by my side... but i know we can't keep our eyes off each other... ha ha... ok we'll try and see whether studying together is effective next wk ok?
hee... 3+ hrs to seeing u... :)
| posted by clouds at 6:27 AM
Saturday, March 27, 2004
dear, u know how much i do not want to leave u today? struggling to hold ur hands till the last min, when my bus arrived... i dunno why i'm feeling such a sense of lost when i boarded the bus... dear, i'm so scared of myself... i really can't control my feelings for u...
i'm glad u did well for ur test today, didn't disappoint me... so here i am, typing another entry all dedicated to u again... ah... am i really such a crazy gal?
looking forward to tml, our 1st whole day spent together... ok, after tml, we must study hard for the finals ok? we must motivate each other yeah? ok ok ... u dun want me to spend too much time blogging too.. ok, me going get ready to go out already... wait for me to get home later ok?
miss ya lots...
| posted by clouds at 4:07 PM
Friday, March 26, 2004
hui was telling me how lucky i was... that dear lives so near me... so i can see him anytime i want... maybe? maybe i just realised i'm quite lucky... hee.. today he sent me home... walked the long path home... bus rides are always so enjoyable with dear by my side... since this semester, when we meet each other on the bus sat mornings, morning bus rides never was the same anymore... the journey might be long, the bus might get stuck in jams, but i'm glad he was there to keep me awake, protect me from xiaoheis (our personal joke)... hee... and sometimes we get on the freezer bus, or sometimes he got onto the freezer bus, poor dear will complain about it...
hee, hope we dun get the freezer bus tml morning... dear, u're doing fine, just a little bit shy, but i'm ok with it really... dear, dun get so nervous, u're making me feel nervous too... hee... dear, simply love seeing u all nervous and fluttery, makes me gain confidence... dear, do have believe more in urself... i know u can do it... jia you for ur test tml...
will reward u on sun, if u tell me u can get gd grades for the test tml k? hee... dear, u must be dying to see the letters i was suppose to pass u... dun care, i want u to wait... gd things are worth waiting for... ;)
| posted by clouds at 8:01 PM
Thursday, March 25, 2004
The most sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiac.
Most artists are Cancer. Cancer is controlled by the "Moon" and the moon change its shape daily, so Cancer man's emotional and moods change all the time too. You will be confused with him and yet it is his constantly changes that "Charm" you. He never go to get what he wants directly, but he will wait for a chance and opportunity to do so. Once he gets what he wants, he will not lose it, except if he get tired of it by himself.
The most sensitive man who can not stand rejection. He cares what other people feel or think of him. He hates losing face and he tends to over protected himself, so sometimes people might think he is a cold person.
Gifted, creative, imaginative, is Cancer. A mystery and complexity play a major role in a life of a Cancer man. He could be very funny, very quiet, suddenly very sad. Living with him could be very unexpected, for you will not know what is his next mood. If you like excitement and surprise, you have the right guy and never have a chance to get bored.
He thinks of his home as "nest" and it is the safest place for him. If he feels hurt or depress he will stay at home alone quietly. Once he feels better, he will come out of his retreat and live normally again. Being a loser is not him.
It is so easy to fall in love with this guy because he is gentle and a very polite guy. His wit and creative mind could win your affection. He will come out from his nest to protect you even if he is not opening himself up to other people much. Not many people will win his heart. His security is only when he has money in his pocket. Once he feels secure then he might think of having a happy family. Even he likes to make and keep money, he is not stingy. Spending money is part of his good image, so he will be happy to spend money to take you out to a very expensive restaurant or buy a
jewelry for you. Certainly when he has money OK.
He is possessive to everything's that he thinks belong to him. Don't try to talk to another cute guy in front of him, he will get suspicion because he is not very secure or confident in himself for this kind of competition.
Once you know each other too much, he will start to look for new excitement, but not to worry for he will always think of you. If he thinks you are the true love for him, and you try once to disappear. You will be sure he will come and look for you.
He is a shy guy, but if he likes you. You can get up in the morning and see that he is in front of your house everyday till you go out with him, a very persistent guy.
He likes a secure, cheerful and lively woman, confident but at the same time always act proper and appropriate. He likes a secure woman, but able to adjust to his rapid changes. A very difficult type to find woman indeed.
In the beginning, you and him will be so sugary sweet together and he will only think of you. This so "super romantic" will not last forever, so don't slip this chance. If you are the one who want his interest, then act and make yourself interesting. Be a supportive person and give him compliment sometimes, but not too much till he thinks you are not sincere.
Unlike many other Zodiac, if he is mad then you better get out of that room. He will calm down by himself. Giving him a slight touch on his shoulders or concerned facial expression is enough. He loves his mother, so try to be his mother favorite, but do not act like his mother!
he says the above description suits him best... hmm... i think i can see most of the features of him in the description... and he's definitely a mummy's boy! ha ha...
| posted by clouds at 11:07 PM
You're a Dream GF!
You're a definite keeper. You're not needy or clingy and you're almost as much fun to be around as one of the guys! You know exactly how much space your guy needs and how to keep your own groove on while in a relationship.
| posted by clouds at 1:22 PM
had lunch with dear yesterday... was supposed to be with the sec 2 gang, but they "siam" at 1 pm... hmm... made me so pai seh... dear also very shy, blushing so much... hee... and they teased him like crazy when i left for lecture... poor thing, but u gotta suffer cos u teased others so much leh.. hee...
die liao, i'm madly in love... i'm feel so loved as well... dear remembers so much abt me...
we're gonna be dead meat soon... ha ha... spend too much time thinking abt each other... dear can't concentrate on studying his mid term for sat... jia you dear!!
hmm... listening to his cd now, jiang mei qi's "beautiful but lonely". he said, u no longer need it to comfort urself... he too... we can now listen to happier songs... :)
ok, i better go hit my books, else he'll feel so guilty...
| posted by clouds at 9:33 AM
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
to all those who's interested in my sequel... i'm no longer gonna feel lonely, no longer feel deprived... there's someone out there loving me, with his whole heart and soul... he touched me last nite... and i really cried for him, i'm touched with wat he has promised... he promised not to let me cry for him again, he promised to protect me, to love me...
how funny some things turn out, when u least expect... u know, we've known each other since sec 2... but only got closer recently... but i would've nv guessed he's the one who'll pin for me. i would've nv guessed that i've fallen for him without knowing it... and it's making me feel all so uneasy the past few days... and i'm glad he cared enough for me to make my sufferings end... we yearn too much for each other to make each other wait till after exams... he's worried it'll affect my exams...
it's quite funny, how he "proposed" over the icq... ha ha... cos both of us can't sleep, cos i can't break his heart by letting him hear me crying... just hope he can gimme a hug last nite... but it can wait i guess...
i haven't seen him since sun, gonna meet him for lunch later at 1 pm... counting down to the time b4 i see him... dear, why r we always not together?
hee~ was just telling 2 of my gal frens over the msn and they're super excited for me... ha ha... thanx sistas, u're the best! giving me support in everything i do... thanx all u ppl out there, especially huishan, thanx for being aunt agony last nite, thanx for being the bridge between us... thanx all u...
dear yun yun is a happy clouds now... hope i'll make u happy too dear... :)
| posted by clouds at 9:43 AM
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
pls dun treat me too well, i'm afraid of falling in love...
pls dun treat me too well, i'm afraid of falling in love...
pls dun treat me too well, i'm afraid of falling in love...
are we...?
| posted by clouds at 4:34 PM
Monday, March 22, 2004
went Cha Xuan for KTV with ade, huishan and dear quid... really sang to my heart's content... shd go cha xuan sometimes, it's quite a not bad place, tho a few songs i wanted to sing are not available... was acting like hwee shan the previous day at Holiday Home at one pt, come to think of it, insisting in my song when it was accidentally deleted... ha ha... and dear quid had to pacify me...
later went to have dinner at TPY, gotta get out of the starting-to-rain Chinatown...dun wanna get caught in a flood... the lightning was scary, but dear quid was at risk cos he's the tallest among us... ha ha...
was talking abt our grandparents during dinner, i can't help but feel so gray all over again and i guess he really naticed that my mood has changed and i think maybe my sound cracked a bit... oh dear, why do i always feel like i bare too much emotions? why issit that he can be so sensitive to my emotions?
he sent me home tonite, tho it was quite early... i told him i can walk my (fav) path home, but he insisted on walking me back anyway... i can't believe we have so much to talk abt, tho we were walking so slowly, time seems to past too quickly... and soon we reached the lift lobby... oh well, so i went upstairs, while he walked back to the busstop to take bus home...
back at home, after my bath, i sent him a msg: "hey dear, thanx for sending me home... don't treat me so well, i'm afraid of falling in love... :P" but i know i really mean it even if i put in the ":P" i was feeling quite touched by watever he was telling me today, or maybe i'm just being gullible down here, but i'm sure he's not a liar to begin with... i mean i can be sure abt my judgement this time round... 100 % sure, he's not a cheater, so that's why he's seriously thinking abt things... i can't believe i'm so easily touched... i was lying on my bed, reading his reply, asking me to take care of myself (cos i'm suffering from gastric again)... i went to bed early @ 9pm... but realised i can't go back to sleep when i woke up for a toilet break @ midnite... so here i am, typing down my thots, trying to recollect wat i've gone thru today, and once again felt super touched...
gastric's still hindering me, and luckily he's gone to bed, so i won't need to chat with him online... gives me time to think thru things...
btw, p^3 wanna meet me soon to pass me my long overdued bday gift, oh dear, he even bought a gift for me!! thanx thanx :) long time no see him liao... but i guess something else is bothering me to think abt him? ken? still chat with him online... but no urge to see him nowadays...
| posted by clouds at 1:13 AM
Sunday, March 21, 2004
am i too emotional? but i am easily touched... he said dun treat him too well, he's afraid he'll fall in love with me... in fact, i'm rather flattered by the way he's treating me... he said yun yun's a gd gal, and he thinks he's not gd enuf for me... on the other hand, i really think i'm not gd enuf for him... tears are coming to my eyes now, i can feel my heart pumping so quickly, but yah, he was just telling me all these over msn... and this aftnoon he was smsing me arrangements for the grp meeting tml... and he said i'll make a gd wife, ask me not to treat him too well, else he'll fall in love with me...
he is mr liquid paper man, my sec 2 classmate. recently we've been hanging out quite often in sch, always see him on the bus, or maybe meet him for lunch together with the other gals... he's not gd looking, but i know he's one dedicated guy, one who will love the one he loves wholeheartedly, gives in his 100% attn if he loves a gal... he's a romantic and gentlemanly chap, tho he can suan me like crazy, but at least i can also suan him back without caring i'll hurt his feelings... and did i mention he's romantic? aww~~ u know that's wat i've been looking forward to? but i know i'm not gd enuf for him, i'm not a caring person, i'm super act cute, super vain, super shallow, and i'm scared i'm not dedicated enuf... i told him, dun treat me too well, i'm afraid of falling for u as well...
u know how it is, when suddenly u get to contact back an old fren, all the novelty of catching up with him just comes so quickly, like u wanna know all abt him? and u get excited that he msgs u saying he miss seeing me online or in sch? i know it all started out as just playing with each other, and at 1st i really did not reciprocate.. nowadays, i think i'm starting to flirt with him...do i really miss him like i said i do? kinda hard to decipher how i feel myself... but isn't it fantastic to be able to click so well with someone all of the sudden?
i promised myself, not to love a person unless he loves me... and i guess that's really selfish of me to think this way... so we'll see whether he's just kidding or really falling for me... maybe aft he gives me his 100 % love, i'll give him my 101 % love... i just hope i do not start avoiding him and start withdrawing myself from him ever onwards.. we're gd frens, really... and i do hope things do not change for the worse... i hope it gets better?
miss ya lots, dear quid... slightly more than 10 hrs to meeting u... --> i really dunno whether i mean it or not...
| posted by clouds at 1:32 AM
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Last nite i slept late... lights out only at 230 am, was studying for my test on wed... i was lying on my bed, eyes closed, half into the sleep... my arms were stretched above my head, grabbing my pillow...
then i felt a pair of hands on my hands, really felt the texture on my hands... u know, the skin's texture... then a tingling feeling is running thru my body... u know, like the out of the world feeling? then i felt myself floating... i dunno why, but i din break free from the pair of gentle hands, i let the hands bring me... let myself float with them. soon i feel myself floating away from my bed, my whole body tilting already... the tingling sensation stronger, it's overpowering me... suddenly i get quite scared, and i opened my eyes...
i am lying on my bed, hands still up on my pillow. i am not dreaming cos i'm not asleep. i am not making up a story, i really felt it last nite... somehow, i do not feel scared, it's weird eh?
i think most of u would've felt goosepimples if i were to tell u face-to-face abt wat happened... but surprisingly, i'm not afraid...
ok ok, tell u why... sun went to pray for my grandpa, my auntie ask my mum to look for photo of grandpa to put on the memorial tablet (is that how u call that?) so the day before, my mum was going thru the photos, all the old photos of me when i was baby, small, all the family trips, all the zoo trips etc... and finally she found a couple of photos of my grandpa... and put the album on my study desk...
that nite, i listened in on the 933 Music Diary, the DJ was narrating this story about this gal, how her dad was about to pass away, how she rushed all the way back to M'sia just to see the last of him? how the dad struggled to pull away all his life support when he finally felt everyone was there? i remembered the other day when my grandpa passed away, when i rushed all the way from sch to bedok, but he's already long gone... i cried, that nite, i cried again, after such a long time... i saw his photo on my desk, i wanted so much for him to be here again..
i must admit that since i grew up, i've never been that close to him anymore. but when i was small, he doted on me the most, he took care of me when i stayed over at granny's. maybe that's why i felt emotionally attached to him... thruout his wake, i was there most of the time, i wanna be with him for as long as i can... he's led a hard life, i really think he hasn't enjoyed enough of his life... and i still miss him once in awhile... and i guess we really have to cherish the people we love so dearly...
and yeap, i really hoped the hands i felt were from him... or maybe i'm just hallucinating cos i'm super tired after a long day of revision... but no matter wat, dun worry, i haven't come to harm yet... dear grandpa, i just wish u'll rest in peace... dun worry abt all of us here, we'll take gd care of ourselves. i'll take gd care of mum... thanks for watching over us :)
| posted by clouds at 12:34 AM
Monday, March 15, 2004
read Life! section today, and came across this article by Nicholas Fang... hmm... realised how interested i am in gender issues... u know, BGR and stuff... ha ha...
all along, Everyone wants to know what women want. Movies have been made about it, songs have been sung about it.
Maybe it's because women possess a Sphinx-like air of mystery about them. Maybe it's because, after years of having been discriminated against as the 'weaker sex', women are finally getting their dues.
well, nobody really did talk abt wat men want... hmm... true...
someone commented that : 'It all starts to feel a little empty and meaningless after a while. And going out all the time can get rather expensive, and you get home after a big night out and sometimes you wonder what was the point of the whole thing.'
and i really identify with it u know. nowadays, been chilling out at home more often then not, been 2 wks since i went out on a sat nite... hmm... but i think i'm not too sad abt it nowadays... oh well, am i losing all my desire for the colourful life? or am i returning to be the original yun yun that lost herself last yr, since i started my blog? i thought i'll nv pick myself up from where i fell, even if i tried, i knew i haven't fully forgiven myself. do i really have the chance to make amends to my soul?
| posted by clouds at 4:27 PM
Saturday, March 13, 2004
"When will you be home?" she asks
As we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
ohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
| posted by clouds at 8:59 PM
just copied the lyrics from huey's blog... hee~ can really identify with it... maybe i'm "only lonely" -- "没有人陪 太多人追又太会拒绝" loneliness? i'm slowly growing used to it... not such a big deal anymore... at least nowadays... at least, i'd rather ppl i dun like leave me alone... ha ha...
"这个世界 美丽世界 有点寂寞
才有点缀 花花世界 爱的世界 你的寂寞 总有边界
如果真的很Sad 写个简讯请你按个Send
我保证立刻出现 把你臭骂一顿 让你甘愿"
oh u know wat happened yest? i felt quite amused actually... u know when u watch "guess guess guess" by Jacky Wu? they have this section about the prettiest schgals etc... and i hear their experiences with ppl wanting to get to know them etc.. i find some of them quite ridiculous... but i nv thought i'd happen to me... esp cos i'm not pretty...
yup, i was walking to the bus stop and was waiting to cross the road across a carpark some blocks away from my blk, and this man in the car abt to turn out of the carpark rolled down the window (i was waiting for his car to pass b4 i cross the rd). then he was asking me, " did i see u somewhere? where do u live?" u know, that kinda question... i told him, no, i haven't seen u before... yup, i live a few blocks behind... hmmm?? and then he kept saying u looked familiar... and i say i dun rem seeing u... and then he concluded, must've seen me around the neighbourhood... DUH! obviously...
and then he asked me where i was working (working?!! i look sooo old? i mean, i was wearing a rather short, denim skirt leh, not some office skirt, and my bag is quite casual?)? and so i told him i'm actually studying at NUS etc... and then he offered me his namecard and took out his hand, told me he's Kelvin, wat's my name etc etc... yah, his motive is to get to know me loh... wat familiar? chey... and so he asked me whether he can get my contact no... i hesitated for awhile, but then i was already running late so i wrote down my no (forgot to change the last digit or sth like dat -- meilin taught me), and he asked me whether he can contact me? i was like so hesitant, i guessed he got an answer, and he wanted my email too... and so i gave him my email, but i think no harm lah... trying to get him to move off so i can carry on to the busstop... and so finally got him to move off... but i was fuming by the time i reach the busstop cos i just missed the bus and ended up 15 min late for my tutorial...
and i found it amusing and rather sad that this guy, obviously 1) not-so-gd looking 2) quite old (think 30 + bah) 3) balding, with residing hairline is interested to get to know me... sighz... oh, at least if one day i get to "guess guess guess" and be one of the ugly yet popular gals or maybe one of the old-looking gals or one of the appealing to old man gals, i'll have some experience to share? ha ha...
i dun wan all these to be happening to me!! i just want to live life normally, peacefully, happily and hopefully with the one i love! everything that is happening to me this yr is so queer, so out-of-the ordinary, so distant from wat i've always been doing and wat i always wanted... can someone pls pull me back to reality?? oh at least for now, i'm satisfied with being lonely...
| posted by clouds at 11:15 AM
Dalalala 说的容易 才不容易
Dalalala 谁说容易 我才容易
都怪我话不太会说 不能逗你开心
但你也有点小题大做
一个人Shopping就觉得寂寞
别人都在恋爱 You're only lonely
那你说我该怎么办 You're only lonely
(Rap)求求你 睁开眼睛 看看这个世界
又不是全部 都一对一对 我们 心地善良
又有品味 又没犯罪 又没偷窃
健康检查 完全OK 打开皮夹 ya卡又一堆
只不过是 没有人陪 太多人追又太会拒绝
何必因为一点寂寞就要跟谁道歉毁失礼
怪别人太没有眼光 有点不太营养
算了吧 我发誓我无法抗拒 忧郁竟让你更有魅力
全世界都在恋爱 You're only lonely
那你说我该怎么办 You're only lonely
(Rap)不要再说lonely 因为你是One and only
打发时间 其实很Easy 来一点嘻哈 让心情变得Sunny
天天轰趴 流连网咖 会不会太Crazy 打起精神 不要变Lazy
我做你的 你做我的Baby Yes my lady
都怪我话不太会说 不能逗你开心
不要再这样小题大做 一个人Sleeping是有点寂寞
别人都在恋爱 You're only lonely
那你说我该怎么办 You're only lonely
(Rap)喔 喔 这个世界 美丽世界 有点寂寞
才有点缀 花花世界 爱的世界 你的寂寞 总有边界
如果真的很Sad 写个简讯请你按个Send
我保证立刻出现 把你臭骂一顿 让你甘愿
| posted by clouds at 10:36 AM
Thursday, March 11, 2004
OUCH! i never thought i'd suffer so much from gastric but i did this evening... nope, not cos of irregular meal, but i think i had this bad premonition of failing the test... and during the test, i really suffered... i guess i'm super stressed+ super bad sinking feeling that even if i study for a long time for this test, i wouldn't be able to pass it... well, in the end, i predicted correctly -- test is as much a killer as a ... killer? ha ha...
i thnk this is gonna be the 1st time i'm failing a test in NUS! and failing it badly... there's always a 1st time for everything isn't it?
looking forward to next wed, when all my midterms end... oh well, actually not so much... cos the final exams are coming!! Argh!! sighz~ time flies... and u see how my archives are building up? time really flies!!
22 yr old, pisces gal... dreamy as ever... as usual... dreaming in the clouds...
| posted by clouds at 12:16 AM
Saturday, March 06, 2004
remember the smell of all the guys in our jc class? u know, the smell when the guys always go play basketball during break and come back all sweaty and smelly? *yucks* i almost forgot abt all these, until i smell the smell again today, on my way home... suddenly, i feel like going back to jc days... those were the days... altho we have to bear the unbearable yucky sweaty smell, i guess those were the times when i truly felt happy... young and happy...
today spent a lonely day in sch... was mugging in the library till close to 6pm today... didn't achieve as much as i wanted, but at least i did something... then on my way back, on the bus, i felt the smell... at first it was irritating... dunno who's BO is it... but it suddenly struck me how familiar the smell is... oh well, u all must be thinking i must be crazy... ha ha... no lah, it just struck me that i haven't been thinking about my JC class for quite sometime... and yeah, the smell reminded me of those wonderful days in JC... everyone mugging in the library, copying CR's homework, admiring BC's wonderful handwriting, sharing gossips after PE, milo treat from Manu, after school consultations with Manu... those were the days... tho was super stressed during the period, i guess, it's nothing compared to now... when u face everything alone... all the difficulties in sch, all the distractions from work, all the emotional troubles...
oh well, maybe i'm not as alone as i thought... i think i'm lucky to have u all as my frens...
huey, u know, just now when u msg me "understand u're hard at work... here's some coffee to cheer u on!" i almost cried... i'm touched, very touched... u know, i was at the library, just sat down and felt super lonely, and ur msg really cheered me up, or at least made me know that someone will be there to give me support... and maybe that's why i was thinking so much abt JC stuff... those were the innocent days... how i wish to turn back time, but i know i can't, things are never the same anymore... everyone is moving on, so can i pls stop thinking abt going back to time? omigod... i'm such a drag...
| posted by clouds at 9:37 PM
this yr, i feel like i'm getting lotsa results... remember last yr i've got 3 tuition kids? i've gotten my results!! ha ha...
Kelvin did much much better than his prelims, i'm soo happy for him... he got B4 for A maths (from an F9!) and B3 for E maths... best of all, he called me from Melbourne to tell me his results! i'm super touched... Evelyn is his elder sis, got A in her Maths C yesterday... tho she din do well in her other 2 subjects, she's still estatic... i am too :)
my other tuition kid getting her A's result, din tell me her grade, she msg me 2 words: " Not good." i was rather shocked. i dunno how badly she did, i felt so bad now for even asking her about it... oh well, hope she gets over it soon..
yesterday, dropped by sim lim to visit my tuition kids' mum's shop. and she was so happy to see me :) i'm glad to talk to her yesterday too... she told me i "fa fu le" :( *sobs* i think i really need to work out more after next wk, after all my tests... haiz...
recently, my lappie is irritatingly slow, virus infected i think, or the hard disk gonna crash soon... anyway, i haven't been able to blog much nowadays then... haiz... hope it gets me more into the "Study" mode...
| posted by clouds at 11:39 AM
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
as always, i dun look forward to today... it's just another normal day for me, but ppl will think that bdays are special, or are supposed to be... that's why, i get happy b'day messages, hope to get "happy b'day" messages from so and so, who and who...
ah well, life's always like that, when u wish for something, hope for something, it'll never come true... the most unexpected will always come up, so i dun expect anything now... hope for more unexpected things to come in tow... hope they're gd ones... :)
last nite got the 1st bday call from Es AKA Mr Liquid Paper Man... ha ha... was asleep for 15 min liao, then my hp rang... i tot i'm supposed to wake up liao, then see that it's actually a call... but well, u know why i didn't switch off my hp when i sleep? yeah, was hoping someone would call me... anyone! yeah, i feel so sad... nobody calls me! or at least only 1 fren called me... but i was too groggy to tok much... but after that, i was quite awake... and the messages start coming in... touched... ppl still rem my bday... :")
oh well, the day's gonna end, with 2 more hrs lecture to go... sad case... is this how i'm gonna spend my bdays? normally? hah a... well, life's too short to think abt all these...
u know, yesterday i spent lotsa time alone... guess wat? i almost had the urge to catch "lost in translation" alone... but i've gotta make it in time for my tuition so decided against it... nvm, there're more opportunities to do so next time.... i foresee myself doing that in future... shopping, having a cuppa, watching a movie,going to Kino, going to the library ALONE... oh well, actually i enjoy shopping alone.. cos nobody will need to wait for me... and i won't feel guilty if i spend too much... oops...
do i seem too much like a chiongster? too many ppl have been commenting that... but i've toned down a lot already... from initially nothing much as well... ah well, i must tone down more!! must lead a healthier life... oops, haven't been working out for like sooo long... *fell the bulge, feel the bulge*
| posted by clouds at 6:14 PM
