Thursday, March 18, 2004
Last nite i slept late... lights out only at 230 am, was studying for my test on wed... i was lying on my bed, eyes closed, half into the sleep... my arms were stretched above my head, grabbing my pillow...
then i felt a pair of hands on my hands, really felt the texture on my hands... u know, the skin's texture... then a tingling feeling is running thru my body... u know, like the out of the world feeling? then i felt myself floating... i dunno why, but i din break free from the pair of gentle hands, i let the hands bring me... let myself float with them. soon i feel myself floating away from my bed, my whole body tilting already... the tingling sensation stronger, it's overpowering me... suddenly i get quite scared, and i opened my eyes...
i am lying on my bed, hands still up on my pillow. i am not dreaming cos i'm not asleep. i am not making up a story, i really felt it last nite... somehow, i do not feel scared, it's weird eh?
i think most of u would've felt goosepimples if i were to tell u face-to-face abt wat happened... but surprisingly, i'm not afraid...
ok ok, tell u why... sun went to pray for my grandpa, my auntie ask my mum to look for photo of grandpa to put on the memorial tablet (is that how u call that?) so the day before, my mum was going thru the photos, all the old photos of me when i was baby, small, all the family trips, all the zoo trips etc... and finally she found a couple of photos of my grandpa... and put the album on my study desk...
that nite, i listened in on the 933 Music Diary, the DJ was narrating this story about this gal, how her dad was about to pass away, how she rushed all the way back to M'sia just to see the last of him? how the dad struggled to pull away all his life support when he finally felt everyone was there? i remembered the other day when my grandpa passed away, when i rushed all the way from sch to bedok, but he's already long gone... i cried, that nite, i cried again, after such a long time... i saw his photo on my desk, i wanted so much for him to be here again..
i must admit that since i grew up, i've never been that close to him anymore. but when i was small, he doted on me the most, he took care of me when i stayed over at granny's. maybe that's why i felt emotionally attached to him... thruout his wake, i was there most of the time, i wanna be with him for as long as i can... he's led a hard life, i really think he hasn't enjoyed enough of his life... and i still miss him once in awhile... and i guess we really have to cherish the people we love so dearly...
and yeap, i really hoped the hands i felt were from him... or maybe i'm just hallucinating cos i'm super tired after a long day of revision... but no matter wat, dun worry, i haven't come to harm yet... dear grandpa, i just wish u'll rest in peace... dun worry abt all of us here, we'll take gd care of ourselves. i'll take gd care of mum... thanks for watching over us :)
| posted by clouds at 12:34 AM
