Sunday, November 30, 2003
Suddenly, I feel that the exams being over is not such a big deal anymo... suddenly, I feel empty in a different way once again... previously, I feel empty cos my social life is so empty, being all cooped up at home, like a caged bird, missing the feeling of walking down orchard rd... now, I still feel empty cos I have nothing to occupy myself with? Shopping is not a long term solution... and makes me more empty than I thought... shopping was for that momentary joy, u know, when u go around every shop, flipping thru every piece of clothing they have, trying on every possible nice ones... then once in a while, submitting to the craving for that really irresistible piece by buying it... and you would feel that I'm such a difficult person to please... complaining this and that... maybe I am... for me, happiness is always short-lived, and I always blog my sadness more often than happiness... sorry dear friends... maybe I shall talk about my shopping trip yesterday? To relive the moments of enjoyment?
Started out with meeting huey at TPY in the afternoon... TPY was as usual, super crowded... went thru all the shops, flipping thru the clothes, looking for the perfect pants for huey... well, didn't find anything nice... and I thought I could always buy something in TPY, maybe it's an exception this time? Well, I spent money tho, buying the bus concession for Dec sets me back by $52... sigh, the cost of transport in S'pore is definitely going up, Up and UP...
Later we found a bus to take to Little India to do eyebrow threading... walking around Little India feels so out-of-Singapore! U know, with all the colourful flowers they tie up to form a chain (wat's that called? Suddenly forgot its actual name) ... and the shops there are bustling with activity, ppl picking veggies and spices, Tamil magazines cassettes and VCDs, the cramped five-foot way, the man by the pavement selling phonecards...everything is so colourful and feels so out of S'pore... it's really a different kind of feeling...
finally, we found the sophisticated beauty parlour that nit brought me to the other time... believe me, it's really nice with the wooden paneled floorboards, trickling mini fountain at the door... it feels nice and cosy, doesn't really make us feel out of place in Little India... so we went in and got our eyebrows done in a jiffy... feels so gd with nice brows, no longer bushy, messy and ugly :)and best of all, it's cheap! $5 only... and the result is comparable to Hollywood Secrets' eyebrow plucking services for $12!
When we left the place to walk to Bugis, the sky was overcast... a heavy rain seems imminent, but nothing can dampen our spirits to shop! Just realized that s'pore is in fact such a small place, and we can actually walk from one place ( Little India) to another (Bugis) within 15 min? on our way there, we encountered this Japanese tourist, having difficulty finding his way to Bugis MRT... and hey, he's in luck, cos we're heading that way too... but he didn't follow us the whole way, cos I think he felt quite odd to be following behind 2 gals, who don't seem to care too much about him... ha ha... or maybe he was just distracted by some other things he saw on the way and decided not to follow us to Bugis and explore on his own...
So we hang around Bugis village for awhile, going in to all the shops that sold clothes which is not a lot (initially, we thought so...) however, rain finally fell hard... so we decided to seek refuge in Long John's and have our dinner there as well... feeling all thirsty from our trip around TPY and Little India, the Super Large Drink we got was not as unmanageable as we thought it would be... after dinner, we continue to conquer all shops!! Ha ha... crossed over to Bugis Junction to browse around in the department store and the Edge...and finally, both of us bought a blouse each... and I thought the blouse I bought fitted well, but when I reached home to try it, it didn't fit as well as it looked on the mannequin, sighz regrets (but with help from my mum's magic fingers, I think it fitted better now ;))
Huey still could not find her pants that she needed badly after one round in bugis junction... in the end, we decided to go down to bugis village to search for clothes again... back to bugis village, we realized that we missed out a lot of the shops hidden within... it was like, WOW, another street to go in... and there'll be lotsa shops that we didn't cover before dinner, when we first explored the place... Surprising discovery, really:) then, there was even a shopping arcade upstairs among the shophouses... lotsa shops selling streetwears, and I keep seeing different versions of the wraparound Indie skirt that I've been eyeing since before exams... and the price ranges from $10 to 20!! Wow... but in the end, me didn't buy it, tho it was tempting...
guess who I bumped into upstairs at the shopping arcade? Liping and Ivy! 2 of my sec sch classmates... come to think of it, I really miss the friends studying in NTU now, like Mel and Meilin ;)ah well, will get a chance to meet up with u two soon rite? Once Mel's back from her trip... Can't wait...
conclusion: it was a fruitful shopping trip... huey got her pants in the end, was quite glad she like the blouse and pants she bought... can't say the same for me, but it was a fruitful trip nevertheless... the colourful sights and sounds around Singapore...
I think I shall end here, dun wanna talk about wat's bothering me and making me feel down today, seriously, I don't know wat's making me down either... sighz~
| posted by clouds at 4:52 PM
Saturday, November 29, 2003
i tot hs is just gonna last me till end of exams. u know, someone to occupy my thoughts during the horrible exam period, but well, he's still on my mind... u know how i wished so much to bump into him again today (actually yesterday)? knew he had a paper at the same time as me at 230 pm, but different venue apparently... but i just harboured the thought of being so fated with him to bump into him again, just like wed...
nope, i don't need to bump into him again to remember his smiles, it's still deeply etched on my mind... dunno, but i just wish to see him again... if u consider talking to him on icq means seeing him again, i guess i "saw" him again just now... but u know how it is, when it always seem like such a one-sided thing, when u get super crazy over someone, and seeing maybe just his name, or something that reminds me of him (the stickers stuck on my file that came with the chocolates he gave me?), makes me super excited... u know one crazy thing i did? i checked his sitting arrangement for the paper he took on wed (the same exam venue as mine) and today! i think i'm slowly gonna degenerate into a stalker soon if i dun hold my horses... but it's kinda hard, i'm not like invincible *remember Clay Aiken's Invincible?*...
as usual, must constantly drop hints that u're free if u wanna meet someone, but well, i didn't do that tonite... cos he struck first, by dropping hints (dunno whether that's hint) by saying he going back to do his FYP tml... so sad, have to do work tml? straight after exams? sighz, so wat if i say i'm free tml (altho i'm not), he's not free...
love- lorn? ha ha, another word to describe me... first it's "love-sick", then" love-lorn"... am i that horrible? ling, pls pull me out of this mess again!! oops, i think i depend too much on u liao, but i can't live without u!! oh well, but then i'm surviving well with these stupid crushes that go nowhere... can i attribute it to my horoscope sign? cos i'm the dreamy Pisces? or maybe just cos i can't get anythg realistic, so i resort to dreaming? u know how much in a daze i was today when it was the last 15 min for my paper? i finished early, yet dun feel like leaving early, so i started dazing away!! and i'll daze away when i'm on the bus, when i'm at home alone, when i'm bored, when it's late at nite and i can't fall asleep... i think sooner or later, i'll be living in my own dream world... bye, real world, i think dream world suits me better... ha ha... well, as always i need ppl to pull me out of this realm constantly, before i fall too deeply into it... and ling will always be my saviour!! always there to put perspective back to the real world, but it goes in a cycle, cos before long, i'll sink back to my own dream world again... that's wat frens are for rite? but i guess i take u too much for granted, sorry ling... but thanx ling, for always being there for me... miss ya lots...
Current status: Dreamworld invaded 80% of my mind... 20% fighting hard to remain in reality... it's hard... really hard, considering it's so late into the nite...
| posted by clouds at 1:16 AM
Thursday, November 27, 2003
| posted by clouds at 1:02 AM
I shall announce again, once and for all... i must let everyone know... cos it won't be fair if i told everyone else except for u all here rite? it's very important, pls hold ur breathe and pity me later when u all hear this, dun get a shock....
yeah, for those who've heard... guess how stupid can i get? i get to choose 2 qns out of 3 for one of my papers today... and i din know!!! so i did all and was wondering how cruel can the lecturer be? why can't i seem to finish my paper!!! argh!! kept flipping and convincing myself that there's only 4 more pages left when i'm like only left with half and hour... *panic panic* and stupid me din flip to the instruction page to see that it's actually 3 qns choose 2.... how stupid can i get? maybe my brain cells are damaged from the paper i suffered in the afternoon (the 3 choose 2 paper is in the evening)... oops, i can go on and on about it... but then there's something else on my mind that i must tell today...
oh well, for the more trivial stuff first, me went J8 with aud (aud's gonna teach me how to play the guitar) and aud's neigh (she's gonna be my cycling instructor for the holidays) for dinner, after the evening paper... while we were urgently running for the toilets, there was a herd of screaming teenagers running for Vaness Wu... wow, scary... i wonder wat will happen if we stood in their path -- most prob be stampled like crazy... come to think of it, i dun remember being all crazy over some idol... wat's the point? it's not as if i get to befriend them, touch them, feel them... so wat's the big deal? it's so unrealistic!! yeah, and u hear me saying that's unrealistic... later me gonna tell u somemore unrealistic things....
ok, so for the dreamy part of my blog for today... u know wat happened? who i saw, that keeps me smiling the whole way thru dinner and to home, altho i suffered from the sinking realisation of doing badly for my paper this evening?
It's him... hs, i tot i nv gonna see him again, but he just appeared in front of me after my paper, saw him outside the exam hall, when i was going on and on abt my stupidity... so yeah, i told him how stupid i was, just like those ppl i see when i came out of the exam hall... and yeah, i regretted not showing any concern for him instead... (so, aud, sorry for hanging up the phonecall just now, cos me got more important things to handle to...)
Now i know why i do like him a bit... his geeky smile just gets stuck in my mind... can't shake it off... he has the smile u just can't resist!! argh... i hate to gush over someone but i guess it just gets deeper... i know wat i look for in guys now, their smile! they dun have to be gd looking, but they must haf the 100 watt, make it 100 Megawatt, smile that will light up my life in the darkest days-- which is like forever... maybe i'm a gloomy person, so i need somone who can bring sunshine in my life? maybe cos i dunno how to smile properly? (that's why ppl always say me "dao" ?) someone shall teach me how to smile? but actually, i must admit that these few years, i get less "dao", but still not as desirable rite? not cheerful enough... when will sunlight come? when will the time come when my days never end? when the night fall is not as scary and lonely anymore?
i simply can't get his smile off my mind!! and his floppy hair (he should get a haircut soon, man, dun like him with long hair leh...), feel so much like touching it... ha ha... cos it's getting floppier... too long liao... but he's smile surpasses everything else... ahh... but then he left soon after... he's going home, didn't offer to gimme a ride (not on the way mah) , oops... but i dun mind not being with him cos -- felt a bit depressed that i'm seeing him on not one of my best days... sighz, acne problem, fatness accumulating... shall swim more in the holidays... did i tell u that i'm gonna get him to teach me roller blade? I'm gonna conquer ALL wheels this holidays... (hope so) driving, cycling, rollerblading...
shall concentrate on my fri paper... Remember: must read instruction, must not be complacent... ok, shall blog after my last paper... won't go anywhere after my last paper on fri... it's last episode of Holland V!!! ha ha... hope it's full force to burn off fats accumulated during the past month... shall regain 45 kg soon...
p/s: for additional readings, do read my chinese blog... ha ha...
p/s/s: still can't shake off his smile... dun think i can fall asleep tonight... sigh~
| posted by clouds at 12:26 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2003
~PISCES WOMAN ~
She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality. She is weak and
sensitive when it's come to "Love". She can cry if her best friend is
breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boy
friend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at
all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in
love. More or less it will be in Pisces woman. She loves small animal and
gifted in training animals.
She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her
nature. Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her
own choice of lover. She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one
night stand guy.
She likes to buy and pick her own cloths. She likes to dress cute and be
cute. Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin.
Her hands and feet are small and soft. Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes
as if she collects them. She is a hot lady that everyone wants her. Whether
she has a man in her life or not , she will never try to over powered any
man. It's not even in her thought.
She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that
way. She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy. She is a
confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy. She knows
how to please and how to comfort a man. If something is wrong, she will try
to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not
because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to
make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now. She is happy
with you for what you are now.
A Pisces woman , if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and
it will make her a very unhappy person. She will pity herself and feel sorry
for herself. She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable
to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you
can never tell which path she going to take. If you love her , then hold her
tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do
next.
A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not
hurt anyone, then you are wrong. You might think she is a fragile person who
needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie.
She is a dreamer and love the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy
gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or
an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well.
Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman. She can be a total
different person before and after. She can be an angel before and later a
witch, but everyone is not perfect, right? She will be soft and gentle most
of the time, so not to worry. She is emotional and extremely sensitive when
she frequently got hurt. She is the type who can cry her heart out.
She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone.
She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that
feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness
from her enemy. She does not like to follow any fixed rules. She can be a
good housewife if you know how to handle her.
Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to
be sweet, she is a real angel.
| posted by clouds at 12:18 PM
Life on the lonely MRT ride
~Life on the lonely train ride~
Intended to study till at least 8 pm tonite in sch, yet i left shortly after my jnr (she's been my study pal for the past few days) left... felt that i did a lot today, at least more than i expected, altho it still falls short of my target... sigh, yeah, me left at 7.15pm and the library was already quite empty... the sky was dark, the road was quiet, the gentle street lights led the way to the bus stop at SOC. then i recalled that it's a Sat nite! lost track of the days... everyday seem to be a wkday for me... and indeed, it's so depressing to have gone thru 8 days (excluding the sun which i hibernated at home) of intensive mugging... yeah rite, "intensive"? i won't consider so, from the way i still took time off to watch tv, travel (=dazing on the bus, daydreaming for 3 hrs every day), and to blog...
since it was dark by the time i left the library, i took 95 to Buona Vista MRT... sometimes, i just don't feel like taking the bus, u know how the bus rides make me think too much? but i guess i'm wrong abt mrt rides... train rides can be depressing too... being among the crowd, makes me "stand out" among them... at least i feel so... why? well, u shld see how sulky i look (plus the horrible reddish blemishes that's on), and everyone else seems at least expressionless... but since it's a Sat, they are mostly a happy bunch, well-dressed, either back from their trip to town or on their way to town... No wonder i feel lonelier on the train then when i usually take the bus, at least i get to be "concussed" for most part of the journey... But well, at least i get to enjoy the cool air and solitude when i'm walking back from the bus stop to my block, no one else on the dark pathway, the big bellowing tress hang over me... i simply like that part of my way back home... that's the part i like to walk alone, always a time for me to listen to the night - the cicadas, the toads, the stray cats, and of cos the voices in my heart... a time for me to enjoy the night and reflect upon the things that happened in the day... somehow, nowadays, i don't take the path as often as before... yeah, cos now my tuition sprees are over, and i don't come back (cos i haven't been there!) from town anymore? counting down to my last paper : 6 days!
:
| posted by clouds at 12:02 AM
Thursday, November 20, 2003
watching holland v really makes me reflect on myself... the material world, Yan Yan is so horribly materialistic, and u wonder whether such a person exists in real life? of cos they do... i think there are lots! am i such a person?
yeah, have been wondering why i have been making use of this guy... sigh, i really dun wanna hitch the ride from him, but it's really tempting, u know... isn't it great u can reach sch in 30 min? and dun need to sit till ur bum hurts on the bus? yeah, that's such a selfish thought on my part, but inconveniencing someone is not good... yah, so in the end? i hitched the ride... so much for feeling bad... makes me wanna think i'm like yan yan, always using tianxiang to do things for her... how i wished i just look like her... yah, stressful exam periods... makes my face break out more... somemore everyday in the cold aircon library, makes it dry and reddish... yucks... somemore can eat then sleep and then sit down somemore in the library the whole day... makes me feel so gluttony... oops, i'm digressing, but yeah, so how? argh, i know i never get an answer anyway... i just have to make sure i dun appear too pretty and nice in front of this guy...
yah i know, been quite pissed off with myself... must focused and not think about any of this kinda things leh... haiz, but i can't help it but miss HS a bit... yeah, that ECP guy lah... i miss his cute cute smile, his boyish look, and his boyish voice... long time never see him liao, ever since that day we went to Centro, i think he must be quite put off by me clubbing habits ba? but i'm a gd gal leh, or rather i was a gd gal... hmm, u must be wondering... why do i change interest so fast? i mean like last wk i still mentioned going out with ken, now some other guy is on my mind... no lah... i must confess: i treat all guys as friends unless otherwise proven, and i must always have someone to think about to keep me motivated in studying... dumb rite? but i guess it's quite true... dun bother abt me for now, i'll pull thru and emerge a CAP 4.5 this sem if i stay like this... ha ha.. quite hard to fulfill... cos this sem really got no true CRUSH (ling, rem one yr ago? i guess i'm super crazy over bc loh...) think my grades gonna suffer this sem... stupid excuse not to get good grades huh? dun care..
i've suffered 2 demoralising papers... 3 more to go... i'll press on! Ling, me just received ur sms... thanks gal, looking forward to meeting up with u during the holidays... dun care how u look, cos i'm not too glam myself nowadays...:)
| posted by clouds at 2:02 PM
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Counting down to my 1st paper... it's 2 more days away!! (huey's last paper leh, such a lucky gal) and counting down to the last paper-- 13 days-- less than 2 wks... these few days me haven't been blogging much rite? phew, thanx to my saviour!
huey: u're the best!! thanx for accompanying me thru the days in sci library... makes studying more bearable... makes me more focused, with the only "distraction" from my "holland v" replay on tv mobile... hope i didn't hinder ur study progress, but i'm sure i'm not such a noisy person once i get down to it, other than me talking super fast and getting super excited after we get out of the library... u see, being supressed for too long gets me super deprived of talk :P ha ha... anyway, i think i accomplished much in sch... but let's say, if the sch is 30 min away from my hse, then i'll be able to accomplish more!! ha ha... *greedy* sighz... there i go again, always wishing for the unattainable... wat will happen to me next wk when ur papers are over? lemme see, dun worry, i'll try to keep up with studying in sch, but i sure gets me down if nobody studies with me, oopss, i'm not trying to make u feel guilty, but hey dun worry, i'll get past it real soon... and i can always find some other place near my hse to study... like Aud's neighbour who goes to the Mac at this shopping centre near our place... tempted to go there since it's so near, or i can try the amk lib, altho now's holidays, so it's gonna be a lot of kiddos running and screaming around...
just let me get past next wk... and i'll be a better gal! ha ha... yup, the papers next wk are super distressing, think i'm gonna get my first below B grade for my EC module, really dreads it... it's gonna be my lousiest EC module!! argh!! can u believe it? it's my 1st EC essays-for-exams module that i'm taking in my uni life, hope it's gonna be my last too... just pray i get to pass it...
Agenda for "today":
-- Ec revison, hope to finish all 8 topics... wow, am i too ambitious? i guess so...
-- chinese readings, shall i read more or shall i start memorising all the facts?
yesterday i was listening to this Chinese song by Ling Fan, called "Staying Alone"... can really identify with the lyrics... it describes my feelings nowadays (but less so these few days since i'm out to study) ... *tempted to translate it and put it here, but i think it'll lose much of the meaning if i translate, so click on the link to my chinese blog to read it?* which reminds me of how much i miss ktving... shall go ktving as soon as exams are over...
Plans for the holidays:
-- Driving lessons
-- Swimming
-- KTVing
-- Shopping
-- Movies, no particular movie me wanna watch but just feel like going to the cinemas again...
-- To the Zoo! haven't been there for a long, long time... wanna feel like a kid again, ha ha...
-- Clubbing
-- Date with Nit and Huey on 29th Nov
-- CBLC chalet on 5th-7th Dec
-- Driving test on 29th Dec *wish me luck*
That's more or less it... unless u wanna date me as well? ha ha...
| posted by clouds at 12:42 AM
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I'm a murderer
i'm still in shock. one of my hammie died, just this morning i think. i can't think of wat to do, i just put it in a container, can't bear to dump it... it's my first attempt to rear a pet and it died without staying with me for 1 year... of cos i shall cherish the only one left more...
i feel so much like crying, not because it died, but more so because i'm such a failure... once again it proves one pt, that i can't take care of anyone, anything... i'm just not caring enough... i'm just a selfish, self-centered individual, demands for more than i can handle... yeah i know, huey did tell me that at least i did provide it with a good home... but i really suspect that it died cos the other hamster killed it... rem the time i was blogging abt fei fei sustaining a cut above its left eye? i shld've separated them... i think they've been fighting a bit too much and now, sth did happen! but somehow, i think being separated would be more depressing... but here, once again, i'm proven wrong... haiz, so is survival more impt than companionship? now, this lonely hammie has lost its only fren, cos it killed its fren (i'm just saying maybe)? it will only have itself to blame (ie if it killed its fren)...
yeah, i know, i think i'm starting to shift the responsibility to this poor lonely sole survival... oh well, yeah, we're both at fault, me for my neglilence and him for his horrible behaviour...
as always, my premonition is true... that there'll always be something that gets me down during exam periods... i hate it!! or maybe i shall welcome it as some sort of break from all the mugging? sorry all, my blogs nowadays are always so gloomy i promise i'll bring in the sunshine, the fun, the excitement after my exams... by then i'll change the blog template once again, to something that'll really suit my theme, something more exciting than this sea of black... i hope i can fulfill my promise...
| posted by clouds at 1:53 PM
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
before i go on and on about the matrix trilogy, maybe i shall tell u wat happened this morning... Super exciting... got thru the Perfect 10 and won "Clash of the Sexes", did the women proud!! haha... it's not the prize (perfect 10 goodie bag + a pair of movie passes) that matters, but it was quite exciting, u can feel ur heart beating super fast when u're on air... and guess wat? someone actually heard me on radio! haha, thanx nit...
and yesterday me went with ken for the movie... had dinner at Billy Bombers together, realised he's just too boy boy and american for me... haiz... maybe that's wat u get for going out with army guys... somemore he's a "beef-eater", no, i'm not against eating beef, and neither am i a Buddhist, but Beef = red meat = fattening... well, u'll ask, then wat's my problem? no, i have no problem with that, just not used to seeing ppl eat beef cos most of my frens eat chicken... haha... well, maybe it's just a change, i get to see ppl eat beef? haha...
I thought i could understand fully the Matrix Revolutions... and it seems that my understanding of it is flawed... questions on my mind now:
--> did NEo die? -- in the end he did, cos he returned to the source...
--> how did smith possess the guy from the real world? -- have to go on back to the Matrix Reloaded on this, the guy was possessed by smith and picked up the ringing phone so he got transported back to the real world...
--> how many worlds are there? -- 2, the matrix and the real world...
--> wat is agent smith? -- he's just a virus which spreaded till out of control...
--> why did Neo allow smith to overcome him in the end? -- cos the Oracle said that "everything that has a beginning has an end", so when Neo was plugged in at the source, so the source can kill Smith...
--> The Oracle and the architect were? -- they were programs... to balance the eqn blah blah blah... (sounds like maths? balance the eqn? haha...)
--> where in the world does the French Man fit in? -- some say he's the 1st version of Neo, others say he was e keeper of the first matrix ... the garden of eden version -- i think he's quite redundant tho... makes everything so complicated...
--> the train station? -- that's so redundant!! adding around half an hour of the movie to nothing... makes the starting of the matrix revolutions seem so slow...
well, as u can see, i got most of the answers to my questions... cos i was actually asking my friend who's siao matrix one... and he got the answers from the forums discussing matrix...
sorry to those who haven't watched the matrix, after reading my blog, u all more or less know what's going to come up, but well, at least u all get the answers before the questions come up eh? or u all, won't have understood wat i'm asking abt too... well, u all shall watch the movie then read my blog again? maybe it'll be clearer...
well, enough for today, shall go back and hit my books... i'm far behind schedule already! Argh!!
| posted by clouds at 10:34 AM
Monday, November 10, 2003
You are Envy!
Wow... what a dreamer. Always wanting what you
can't have, and always dreaming of having more
then you do. It's not the worst sin, and we're
all guilty of it - but you take it to the
extreme! You are prone to depression, often
from things you can't obtain. Be a bit more
positive, you have a lot that others want too -
so don't sit there being all green! On the
positive side, you tend to be a smart person -
and can often achieve the goals you set
yourself.
Congratulations on being the overall harmless, and
pretty normal one of the 7 deadly sins :)
?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Well, well, u can see that i'm getting bored, with nothing to write, yet can go on and on doing quizzes on quizilla... am gonna kill my grades at this rate...
| posted by clouds at 10:33 AM
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
| posted by clouds at 2:36 PM
but then, i'm actually quite curious abt this exhibition. i mean it's so controversial, and it's the first time it's here in s'pore... anyway, is it stupid to pay $18 to subject urself to the kind of scare? a scaredy cat like me? i remember the time when i watched the ring 2 in the cinema, i was covering my face half the time.. ha ha... of cos, can't compare that to this exhibition, it's totally REAL for this show, u know, like no sudden popups from Ms Sadako, no scary sound effects... maybe i can take it better than scary movies... ha ha...
haiz, how? i've been thinking abt all these things other than my revision... yeah i think i have started on it, but chinese really sucks! i mean i have so many readings to do, and i think even if i finish all, i dun think i can churn out a gd enough piece for more final exams... the thought of staring at the qn paper and having nothing to write really puts me off... comtemplating whether to report in as sick so that i dun need to take the paper. at least i get to keep my B- grade for my essay, and then i get to pass the module!! ha ha... and i get 1 more day to study? hmm... maybe i shall do just that.
staring at my schedule for the next wk... tight, hope i get to achieve at least most of the things i wrote there... hmm, kinda tough, will manage with more late nites, yupz...
| posted by clouds at 2:14 PM
Saturday, November 08, 2003
You are Green M&Ms! You're 1 lucky guy/gal!
~What color of M&Ms Are YOU?~
brought to you by Quizilla
| posted by clouds at 12:59 AM
Friday, November 07, 2003
Somehow i feel that i've lost touch with the world. u know how it feels to be without a friend to hang out with? u understand how desperately u are clinging on to the hope of getting urself a companion to no avail? well, i've thoroughly experienced in this, time and again, i'd get this feeling... yes, everytime during exams... when u know u should be like everyone else, all cooped up at home or going to sch everyday and make the library ur 2nd home, but u just can't make it happen? this internal struggle within me... it's going on and on and will peak next wk... yes, when it's time to go on according to ur schedule-- the one i stare at everyday in front of me when i sit at my desk-- i just seem to lag behind more and more as days go by...
yes, so i end up doing silly things? like hitching a ride from a "complete" stranger? (can't say he's a stranger, but i really dunno a lot abt him yet loh...) and i must make sure i do not appear too imposing or seem too interested in him, cos i'm not... *evil snigger* yeah u're hearing it from the pure white cloud? hmm... maybe i've changed, maybe i'm struggling to keep myself from falling into the whirlpool of darkness, trying too hard and now, i'm just free falling into it with tremendous speed.... i must save myself, i must pull myself up. but how?
wild thought #1: u know wat? in order to occupy my mind, i came up with the stupid idea of thinking abt someone and make him my crush... so that at least i can study with that bit of distraction... u know, like two sems ago? with bc on my mind? argh!! stupid me rite? now i simply can't think abt bc in the romantic sense, so i must source for a new target... well, well, silly thoughts for a silly person like me... so, u might ask, who's the one i chose to think of? haven't made a decision yet, ha ha... no lah, it's too stupid to even tell u this... ha ha... sorry ah, my wild thoughts floating around me head now, making me dizzy... and leading to a slow death, death in my grades....
wild thought # 2: i have a sudden craving for the matrix revolutions... yup, the end of the trilogy... yup, blame it on my friend who has been going on and on abt how cool it was to watch it at the imax theatre... so in the end, i have to choose between watching it tonite at marina with the cblc ppl or some other day with someone else... today really dun feel like going out so late... didn't i say i wanna turn over a new leaf? ha ha... no lah, just dun think i'll fit in the gang anymore... sad rite? anyway, so i chose the 2nd option which is watching with someone else... and u might ask who's the poor thing who kenna pestered by me? no prize for those who got it rite... it's ken, my long time no see fren in army... ha ha... really miss him a bit, so i asked him... (nah, he's not in my wild thought #1 ie, he's not one of the potential targets anymore... but well, suddenly, i feel like we can be just frens! and ONLY frens :) no, i haven't forgotten how he showed concern. no, i haven't forgotten how much i feel for him. but i guess i've faced up to reality that it's really quite impossible for something to happen... yeah, rem my theory (since when did it become my theory?) that "if nothing have happened within 3 wks, then nothing will ever happen".
wild thought #3: thinking of streaking my hair into wild colors... u know the type of highlights with more than 1 colour? and thinking of piercing more holes in my ears-- the upper part of my ears-- but it's really quite painful... thinking the above 2 will drive my mum crazy, so i think it's just not gonna be done... ha ha... yah i know how crazy i've become, and i hate myself for harbouring such crazy thoughts... yucks!
wild thought #4: not too wild, but i really wish i could go donate blood... i dun think i'm scared of the pain, or the needles, but i just needed someone to accompany me lah... anyway, i have another crazy thought regarding blood donation... u know, when u're wt is less than 45 kg, u can't donated blood? well, my weight is still a bit over it leh, so maybe i shall lose a bit more wt then can proudly declare i'm under wt for blood donation? haha...
alrite, enough of my wild thoughts... back to hit the books... or back to try hit my books?
| posted by clouds at 5:15 PM
Thursday, November 06, 2003
Stoner Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
| posted by clouds at 6:57 PM
Monday, November 03, 2003
You are Ariel from The Little Mermaid!
What Disney Princess are you?
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| posted by clouds at 10:59 PM
I really do identify with the below, read it from someone else's blog :
"Have you ever just laid it all out for someone...told them the truth...your feelings....
Did you ever have that person just not respond the way you expected...or worse, exactly the way you expected....
When you know there's no chance for anything...You kinda keep this fantasy about what it would be like...
This fantasy consists of your own inside reality...Your own dream...Your own private world...
Did you ever have someone take your own private world...your own dream...your own fantasy....
And just ground it!
Note to all out there...Keep your fantasies...your dreams, to yourself! DOn't ever let someone steal them, or worse show you the reality....
A dream...a fantasy...is just that! A dream. Not reality, we don't want them placed in reality...grounded in real...we like to dream... I like to dream!"
maybe i shouldn't reveal too much of my feelings online, as well as to anyone out there who cares to listen. i guess i should retain some sense of mystery right? i don't feel too good when ppl seems to know all abt me and i know nothing abt them. it gets to me a lot these days, i feel like it's getting to a pt of me being too self-centred... everything is abt me, me and ME! Me, myself and i... seems like such a handful, ppl say, woman are the most troublesome... and i agree totally that i'm v troublesome...
| posted by clouds at 10:41 PM
Sunday, November 02, 2003
How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggerly tail.
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that doggie's for sale.
Today, i heard this nursery song on the radio...
suddenly realised how old i've become... it's such a great song, one of my favourites when i was younger... i've always wanted to own a puppy, cuddle with my puppy when i'm feeling down, take walks with my puppy, just the two of us... ppl always say that dogs are the most loyal pets... i totally agree, i just wished humans can be as understanding as doggies, just stay quiet while i hug it to cry... well, no such luck, at least i dun think i can commit to taking care of a puppy yet... since i'm such a bad hamsters' owner... u shd see their pathetic state now, cos i dun wanna separate them altho they fight a lot, then my feifei got injured the other day? (feifei so lousy, only know how to eat and sleep dunno how to defend for itself!) and i only give them all attn at one go on sunday, when it's their cleanup time? i'm such a lousy owner!
maybe i need someone to take care of me, more than i take care of my dream puppy? well, maybe, and i'm still waiting... so maybe i'm just that doggie in the window, waiting to be bought, waiting for the right owner to take care of me?
| posted by clouds at 12:03 AM
