Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I'm a murderer
i'm still in shock. one of my hammie died, just this morning i think. i can't think of wat to do, i just put it in a container, can't bear to dump it... it's my first attempt to rear a pet and it died without staying with me for 1 year... of cos i shall cherish the only one left more...
i feel so much like crying, not because it died, but more so because i'm such a failure... once again it proves one pt, that i can't take care of anyone, anything... i'm just not caring enough... i'm just a selfish, self-centered individual, demands for more than i can handle... yeah i know, huey did tell me that at least i did provide it with a good home... but i really suspect that it died cos the other hamster killed it... rem the time i was blogging abt fei fei sustaining a cut above its left eye? i shld've separated them... i think they've been fighting a bit too much and now, sth did happen! but somehow, i think being separated would be more depressing... but here, once again, i'm proven wrong... haiz, so is survival more impt than companionship? now, this lonely hammie has lost its only fren, cos it killed its fren (i'm just saying maybe)? it will only have itself to blame (ie if it killed its fren)...
yeah, i know, i think i'm starting to shift the responsibility to this poor lonely sole survival... oh well, yeah, we're both at fault, me for my neglilence and him for his horrible behaviour...
as always, my premonition is true... that there'll always be something that gets me down during exam periods... i hate it!! or maybe i shall welcome it as some sort of break from all the mugging? sorry all, my blogs nowadays are always so gloomy i promise i'll bring in the sunshine, the fun, the excitement after my exams... by then i'll change the blog template once again, to something that'll really suit my theme, something more exciting than this sea of black... i hope i can fulfill my promise...
| posted by clouds at 1:53 PM
