Thursday, January 15, 2004
I never thought i would ever have a sunburn ever since jc... but i am feeling it now... nope, it's not peeling, but feels so hot and red on my skin, it's getting abit irritating... tiring day for me... think my arms are gonna ache tml... dreading it...
Sorry, tho i didn't dare say i rowed a lot, but it's so TIRING... "nua" most of the time, felt so bad... ha ha... enjoyed the feeling of drifting on the wide open sea... feeling the sunrays hitting my face... sooo relaxing... of cos, a bit the sea sick :P nevertheless, it's a whole new experience... felt so calm, relaxed drifting there, just out there, away from the land, away from worries, and distractions... (yeap, felt so vexed last nite... i knew he'll call, luckily me didn't pick up my phone, really didn't feel like talking to him anymore...) today was offshore for about an hour or so, playing in the sea was quite fun too, guess i haven't done that since the lst time i went sentosa with the cblc gang... soaking up the salty seawater, soaking up the sunshine, without my sunblock... no wonder i got sunburnt...
todays was the first day hanging around a guys sch... yeap, p^3 went back to visit his sec sch... was telling me stories about how notorious his sch was... and he and his fren , Leonard ( yeah i know it's just a name, so i realised that Leonard is quite cute, a funny guy i think, there's still the boy boy charm he possess...), was bickering, suaning each other, putting down each other, fooling around... quite envious of how close they are... frens since sec sch, and still remained such close frens... come to think of it, i dun get to have this kind of close frens... u know, when u can talk without inhibitions, and went thru alot of thick and thin... i guess for me, i have close frens, but yeap sometimes they're just not there when i truly needed them, or rather, sometimes, i shut myself out from them...
Hmm... true frens, who are my true frens? who're always there for me when i needed them? sometimes, i'm just scared that they'll find me a nuisance when i keep bothering them with minor things in life, or i'll just keep going on and on about myself, without a chance to listen to them? maybe i'm just not a gd enough person... i'm just a self-centred maniac, and maybe that's why i'm keeping this blog in the 1st place? to "show off" to everyone how "happening" my life is? but really, do i enjoy doing all these things that i'm doing? or i'm just trying to spite someone, trying to change myself, trying to occupy my empty soul?
oh boy, it's getting depressing when i think about this... i guess i always reach this juncture when i start at it... and it's so saddening...
| posted by clouds at 9:33 PM
