Wednesday, August 20, 2003
I really don't know what's up with me, always on this pendulum thing... sometimes, i swing up, sometimes i'm at my low, and it's always swings up and down real quickly... short pendulum eh? haiz... short attention span?
i really do wonder, what do i like about him? i really think we're running out of things to say already.. at least i feel that way... here i am, closing up on myself gradually, cos i hate to say too much... Am i not afraid that i'll say too little? just like wat my driving instructor says, "u always say u're afraid to turn too much (when i'm changing direction), why aren't u not afraid of turning too little?" and i always turn too little... always getting scolded for this... why am i not afraid that i'll share too little? i think i've been avoiding a lot of topics, cos i'm afraid i'll blurt on and on about something that might show how shallow i am, or how desperately lonely i am? i really don't know about myself anymore...
and i see no signs that things are going to turn romantic in the near future... i think maybe it'll just end here...
last night i was too tired to stay up and wait for his next msg which came 1 hr later... might as well then, though i had to help mel ask something, and the topic was just so adequate... wld have to wait till the next time then... sorry mel... still pondering on whether to get him a present... we're just frens afterall, not some really close fren or anything... and i just knew him for about 2 months? *ponder ponder*
up and down and up and down and up and down... yada yada yada...
| posted by clouds at 4:03 PM
