Thursday, August 07, 2003
another one of the monotonous days when i'm fully engaged, yet felt so thoroughly empty...
yup, full day of duty, which means full day of staring at the computer screen, surfing the net, waiting for fats to settle in my tummy... yada yada... and later i have tuition AGAIN... yup, been going to the same house the second day in a row... but yeah, i enjoyed it better than watching tv at home... at least i my brain cells get to work, and most importantly, i get my pocket money to spend... hee~
looking forward to tomorrow... no, not the driving lesson, but the trip to the gym again... planning on doing cross training... something like aerobics i heard from Anne, hope it's fun... and i get to work out... argh, really dread having to rush to tuition after my trip to the gym... but well, i shouldn't be complaining since i get to earn my keeps right? oh well, but tomorrow is just the 1st lesson for her so it's a long way to pay day :(
he still haven't msg me since tues... i'm bored, bored without a person to msg to... wat's he doing now? maybe he found someone else to talk to, rather than me, this crybaby... he must be scared of me... i cry too easily? no, i don't agree with that... i'm a strong girl, at least i think i appear to be... but last week, my weak side is totally exposed! i hate to appear to be weak, but i am...
i resolve to be strong from today onwards... independent... i can jolly well watch a movie on my own... i can go to the gym alone... i can go swimming alone... i can travel alone... i don't need anyone... or rather, i hope i don't need anyone... i wish i could be more independent, i wish... but in reality, i'm really afraid to be alone, loneliness kills... at least for me... i have to be alone... i'll think a lot, and i'll fantasize too much...
| posted by clouds at 4:17 PM
