Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Just came back from my long overdued driving lesson and swim... was quite disappointed though, of all days, it have to rain today? Me just had a dip in the pool for 15 min and it started drizzling, my spirits too dampened to continue swimming so i just got out of the pool... Did something real sinful: i went Delifrance for breakfast ALONE... No, not the "alone" part which is sinful, but the "eating" part :P Driving was as demoralising as usual... yah, can't seem to steer well kept getting scolded :( And it's my 10th lesson already! Frustration...
Been thinking...Does my life revolve around so many guys? Or so many guys revolve around my life? Well, the truth is, my life revolves around none…
Who’s my close guy friend? Nobody in fact… Maybe there's this icq friend whom i went out with once, who keeps calling me DEAR etc... Who fails to impress me the time we went out (and he's one month younger than me) so i've been putting off going out with him ever since, but i think i impressed him too much such that he keep pestering me... Maybe there’s this guy who says he likes me, but I know he’s just joking (it’ll be nice to have someone like you though…). Then there’s this JC classmate who’s a rather close friend of mine… Then there’s this real noisy, quite well-built, tanned (not so good looking though) guy classmate of mine, who has got really impressive ability in Maths… Then there’s this other well-built guy whom I dine and study with the other time when I was staying in the hall… I must admit that the latter two guys do impress me more, but maybe it’ll just stop there… And of cos my crush, whom i went out with on social nite and then had a crush on him for 2 yrs (gave up on him just this yr, cos i heard he got a gf)... The truth is I'm not attractive... and i'm just too choosy? I really don't know...
But i really do enjoy myself more to do things as a group rather than one to one, so i'm not ready for a relationship till someone who can make me willingly give up my groupie instinct and make me fall for him head over heels come along... When will that day come?
Think my life would really pale soon after i complete my term of office for my CCA. But what to do? I've lost all self confidence, and i'm just too irresponsible to care about my Club's stuff enough... Life will be SOO boring... I'll just have to cherish what i have now...
So, should i go for my Club's BBQ or my JC class Sat's dinner? Hmmm... Racking my head for a really good solution but still can't come up with one :( What should i do?
| posted by clouds at 3:16 PM
