Sunday, July 27, 2003
Yup, feeling in agony now, with an aching back and a twisted right wrist, just wondering how i can even type, but well i did manage quite well eh? All these agony, all due to yesterday's fall, real bad... Slipped an fell just downstairs, luckily, i think nobody saw me, or at least i wish to believe no one had seen me... cos nobody came and helped me up... i thought i'm gonna be paralysed! it's so painful! but then , i managed to get up and about... went town to shop with the pain in my back and a stiff right wrist... dun wanna disappoint my friend again, she's been wanting to meet me since 2 mths ago? or am i the one who's been longing to meet her and share my gossips? hmmm...
Now, my right wrist is still swollen, and i'll wince when the car drives across the humps on the road, but i guess i'll survive eh? So shld i go tomorrow? to meet sam, mel and him? ah well, i'm actually quite willing to, but really would feel akward in front of sam eh? hmm...
he told me his cousin lives quite close to me... Not again?! yah rite, like all the guys that i know live so close to me, or are so familiar with my neighbourhood...
So, i was updating my girlfriend about this new potential, and she was saying "very good", "very good" ... throughout... yet, she did point out something which i haven't thought about... wat if everything he says is not exactly true...? like his background, the place he lives in, where he came from etc? I really would like to trust him, and take whatever he said as the truth, cos i'm also truthful in whatever i've told him about... Oh well, i do not know him for a long time so i won't know whether what he told me is indeed true, so we'll take things slowly, one step at a time? But she did tell me that, if whatever he says is true, i should go for it, cos he's too good to be true... well, now that she's said it, if i want to be realistic, it's indeed the fact, but do i really want to love him? do i really want to risk getting hurt after he ORD and returns to the states?
So, back to the question, should i go out with them tml?
*ponder ponder*
| posted by clouds at 9:21 PM
Friday, July 25, 2003
Yah right... who's SO LUCKY to go to social nite twice in her life? Argh.. i kinda dreaded it, u know... not again... "unforgettable experience", yah i know... well, the first guy was my crush whom i took a long long time to get over... this time round, i'm having doubts about going again... yah, the "not again" feeling of dread...
Yes, it's him... he just asked me to go as his date... next fri... i really should've said no, but i can't bear it if he said that if he can't get a date, he'll be banned from home for 3 wks... it sounded so pathetic that i have to "help" him out, isn't it? Oh well, wat will people think? that i'm throwing myself at a guy again? Omigod, and those gals going wld most prob be much younger than me? i'll be like an old hag there!! sighz... *regrets* hope that Sam would ask Mel so that i won't be so bored there... so much for the free goldfish.. ha ha.. i won't bother...
Well, well.. my life is certainly very happening now, not that i'm sure i'm gonna like it? Anyway, i'm seriously having doubts about this guy who's half a yr younger than me... i really minded that part... hmm...
*ponder ponder*
| posted by clouds at 1:34 PM
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
It's a long time since i my last update? so, how much has happened these few days? hmm...
Sat nite... he msg me just when i was abt to turn in... msg abit then he called me in the end... hmm, i wld prefer a talking relationship then an icqing relationship... if u know what i mean...
Sun nite, mel msg me abt going out with sam for a cuppa... then she told me that sam said that ken felt that everything was going on well between us... well? as frens or something more? i've been pondering thru this for quite sometime... actually not too much lah...
then the whole of sun and mon, he din contact me at all!! :( so i was wondering wat happened? but i swear never to take the first move...
Yesterday morning, i took the 1st move? i sent a good morning msg... yah, so much for all my promises to myself... haiz... in the end i broke it... just like how i said i won't fall for a guy younger than i? anyway, guess i'm not so much as fell for him... i'm still quite neutral, i guess...
last nite after his mms service has been activated, we exchanged photos... hee, he looks quite pathetic on the train... but well, maybe cos he wasn't smiling in his pic... then i was talking to him on the phone... but i was so sleepy after my medication, i had to cut him off when he was enthusiastically talking about his army life... sorry...
this morning apologised to him... and he asked me to send one of my sleepy eyed foto to him... hmm... not on my best , so i rejected him... hmm... now close to the end of the day... dun wanna msg him just as yet.. .still feeling quite sleepy... and not feeling so well... sighz...
| posted by clouds at 4:38 PM
Friday, July 18, 2003
Hey, do i get easily impressed or what? he's just so nice... not too bad looking, quite cute actually... yup, yesterday we went out for ice cream at Cafe Cartel, and talked quite a bit... and i thought he will abandon me after we met yesterday, cos i had this real bad complexion yesterday, but he did send me a gdnite msg which i saw only this morning...
yup, he's back in camp again... this morning sent him a gd morning msg and sms a bit... well, today is another bz day again.. just came back from a well deserved swim, later tuition again then meeting in sch... hectic schedule... can't wait to go out with him again...
tml me going sentosa for beach volley, thinking of asking him along, but he might be in camp i think, hmm... he don't seem like the type who likes the sun alot... he said the weather is too hot for him? hee~ and he dunno how to swim ;) well, i'm not laughing at him, i dunno how to swim initially too! but he's real CUTE, sorry, but i can't help gushing over him... hee~
| posted by clouds at 1:40 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Mistake, really big mistake to dress how i did last night... expected "dbl 0" to be some 'old man's' club like Newsroom Bar, but in fact it isn't! plus the fact that i'm going to Zouk, should've worn my funky 3/4 pants and slinky black top...
yah, i'm really quite envious that Mel never fails to get picked up when she goes clubbing... she is just plain attractive, and she almost got 2 guys fighting over her... some ppl just have the look...
me, did not bad either, this nice guy who's in NS now ( he's younger than me :( ) , who's with the friend who picked mel up talked to me... was quite impressed by him, tho he's YOUNGER than i am :(... yup at least he did sms me after we parted... should reply he's msg soon... yesterday was super FUN! Zouk was fun but too crowded after midnite... got stepped by a couple of heels... OUCH! was it a blessing or a curse? me didn't get to see the jerk... i mean why do i want so much to see him? luckily he didn't see me either, cos i was in this super ugly outfit? but he should've seen me, at lest he can see that i have such "tall friends" that he won't dare to come over to say hi... ha ha.. Law was super tall and well-built, i guess he won't dare come over rite?
oh dear, see? i think i'm super fickle-minded? just yesterday i was thinking abt this guy, then today i'm thinking abt this other guy? well, wat to do? sighz...
think i'm becoming more of a party animal, but i dun think my mum likes it, dancing to the early morning... but i'm just trying to expand my social circle eh?
| posted by clouds at 11:54 AM
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
I'm confused, AGAIN! what's he's intention, by sending me a "do u miss me?" message? "if u think of me, u'll feel loved..." all along i thought he was so close to this other girl... this girl who knows him better than i do, who has a nicer face than i do (though i'm quite glad to say i have a better figure than her)... maybe i'm just jealous that they're closer than, he is with me... yah i know, i seem like i'm contradicting myself, first i'm saying how it is impossible between us, then now, i say i'm jealous? hmm...
over and over again, i keep coming to this path on my life, guessing whether this guy likes me, or whether we're really suited for each other... i'm sick of it, but i can't get out of this phase, pls help me out of it! someone?
no, i must tell myself that i dun like him, i shouldn't be the one initiating things... nope, i shldn't msg him b4 he msg me... no! i dun want history to repeat itself...
i should not think so much, maybe i'll just go to bed... tata...
| posted by clouds at 12:10 AM
Sunday, July 13, 2003
How do i seriously get rid of all the popup ads that're bothering me? IT's so IRRITATING! tried those free downloads to get rid of popup windows but seems usely on my computer! or i am just too useless?
Well, just came back from chalet.. .was fun, tho not VERY fun... really had fun for the BBQ, tho i'm quite guilty abt dragging the whole class there and it rained and they din get to eat bbq stuff... i'm just too selfish issit? just wanted to have fun on my own, not bothering abt my class ppl's feelings? And all along, i thought that my JC class has the first priority over everything else ( i mean my current CCA) Guess i was wrong, i reprioritised and now CCA comes before my class, sorry to say that... It's just that the class ppl just meet up once in awhile so we're not as close...
I just bladed yesterday! My first attempt! and it was fun :) first i tried with the ground all wet, so i was clinging on so hard to this guy friend of mine that "discriminatory" photos of us were taken... Oops... ha ha... but felt really safe with him by my side... no, don't misunderstand, i know it's not possible between us, i'm not his type, he's not my type... hee~ But later, when the ground is a bit drier, i can let go and blade! well, almost... not blading correctly, was more like walking...
it was drizzling intermittently yesterday, so bbq started quite late and ended late too... luckily i'm going back to my chalet instead of coming home, else i'll be coming home late again...
Looking forward to going on my 2nd clubbing trip on wed... if all goes well, we're going Zouk! finally... :P
| posted by clouds at 2:46 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Yes, the long awaited chalet is finally here... But kinda disappointing... to think that we might end up with maybe just 2 guys and 3 gals tml nite? the thought just gives me shudders... SOO disappointing...
i think it'll be super sianz... cos we dun usually hang out together so if we need to spend 3 days 2 nites together, that'll be disastrous... on the other hand, it might also pull us closer? let's hope for the best eh?
and we have a problem, my best friend's a vegetarian, so we're looking for a nice vegetarian place for sat dinner, somewhere not too ex, not too far, prefably somewhere near ecp... ha ha... so that we can pop by the cblc bbq? *evil snicker* why do i want so much to go to cblc bbq? addicted to having fun eh?
getting fatter by the day, tml must go swimming at downtown east, make full use of the facilities there... since i paid so much? but i'm fat! body not nice to show off... hmmm... *ponder* i'll think of a way... and have to think of a way to slip to cblc bbq!! *evil thoughts*
| posted by clouds at 11:36 PM
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Just came back from my long overdued driving lesson and swim... was quite disappointed though, of all days, it have to rain today? Me just had a dip in the pool for 15 min and it started drizzling, my spirits too dampened to continue swimming so i just got out of the pool... Did something real sinful: i went Delifrance for breakfast ALONE... No, not the "alone" part which is sinful, but the "eating" part :P Driving was as demoralising as usual... yah, can't seem to steer well kept getting scolded :( And it's my 10th lesson already! Frustration...
Been thinking...Does my life revolve around so many guys? Or so many guys revolve around my life? Well, the truth is, my life revolves around none…
Who’s my close guy friend? Nobody in fact… Maybe there's this icq friend whom i went out with once, who keeps calling me DEAR etc... Who fails to impress me the time we went out (and he's one month younger than me) so i've been putting off going out with him ever since, but i think i impressed him too much such that he keep pestering me... Maybe there’s this guy who says he likes me, but I know he’s just joking (it’ll be nice to have someone like you though…). Then there’s this JC classmate who’s a rather close friend of mine… Then there’s this real noisy, quite well-built, tanned (not so good looking though) guy classmate of mine, who has got really impressive ability in Maths… Then there’s this other well-built guy whom I dine and study with the other time when I was staying in the hall… I must admit that the latter two guys do impress me more, but maybe it’ll just stop there… And of cos my crush, whom i went out with on social nite and then had a crush on him for 2 yrs (gave up on him just this yr, cos i heard he got a gf)... The truth is I'm not attractive... and i'm just too choosy? I really don't know...
But i really do enjoy myself more to do things as a group rather than one to one, so i'm not ready for a relationship till someone who can make me willingly give up my groupie instinct and make me fall for him head over heels come along... When will that day come?
Think my life would really pale soon after i complete my term of office for my CCA. But what to do? I've lost all self confidence, and i'm just too irresponsible to care about my Club's stuff enough... Life will be SOO boring... I'll just have to cherish what i have now...
So, should i go for my Club's BBQ or my JC class Sat's dinner? Hmmm... Racking my head for a really good solution but still can't come up with one :( What should i do?
| posted by clouds at 3:16 PM
Friday, July 04, 2003
Woohoo! just came back from my CCA's orientation camp. Really had fun on Sentosa. Although the turn up was quite disappointing, all of us had fun eh?
The down side? Having "donated" blood the blood suckers -- AKA mosquitoes :( and super deprived of sleep... Well, it's worth it i guess ;) And the weather was really on our side, it only rained yesterday afternoon after our camp :) Well, loads of stuff to do as followup of the camp though :( processing the claims for the camp materials... Yesterday went to Sakae Sushi for buffet and stuffed ourselves silly , yum yum... though was feeling so guilty afterwards... Should catch my swim soon, haven't swam for 1 week already :(
And was excited about meeting my friend tonite who just came back from Scotland for her exchange program, can't wait to see her again and share with her our gossips, and hear from her about the wonderful stuff from Scotland... Hmm, maybe i should write her a postcard...
Maybe i should catch my afternoon nap... was feeling so sleepy just now during tuition i almost fell asleep... Ooops... Later going for my 1st clubbing experience with my friends... hee~
| posted by clouds at 1:32 PM
