Sunday, January 25, 2004
I know i'm silly to lose sleep over such things... i did lose sleep on fri... only slept for 3 hrs... argh!! felt so silly... then yesterday took time off, not to think about it anymore, wat will happen will happen, wat's not gonna happen will not... so i'll let nature take its course...
So i went PS to catch a movie with P^3. The Last Samurai was SUPERB!! Not that i'm a great fan of war movies, but i think it's rather touching, the honour part, the bushido, how the samurai's fought till the very end... but i'm just wondering when did Tom Cruise grow so fat? ha ha... anyway, the movie theatre was so cold, and the movie was so long, i can't bear it but excused myself at the last of the battles :( super OFF rite?
then was hanging out with mel and meilin again... emergency gathering... at least on my part, felt so much like chionging yesterday, especially since P^3 also asked, but i was super tired especially since i didn't sleep much the previous night... haiz~ anyway, mel was looking for her V-day gift to send to her bf... and i am just thinking, maybe i shall not get attached, then i can save some $$, hee~ something that put me off again... haha...
so how? so how's my decision gonna be? i don't know myself... on one hand, i do not want to lose the freedom i'm enjoying now, and that he seems to be a total pushover cos it's like suddenly, out of the blue, the issue came up again... and somemore, i do not feel that i can get my way everytime when i'm with him, like taking the bus instead of the mrt, having Mos instead of KFC, going to town instead of somewhere outdoors? yup, i shall reevaluate my options...
on the other hand, isn't it wat i've always wanted? someone to care for me? to support me in watever decisions i make? someone who can satisfy my emotional needs? someone to hold my hand :P ? isn't it gd that he's someone whom u can share ur innermost feelings with, before all these issue came up? i'm not so sure abt it anymore, now that the prospect comes staring straight in my face... i'm not sure about it anymore... i am in a dilemma...
I dun care whether u read this, but this is wat i feel... i'm super confused now, but i dun want u to come back again, only after 13 months and another breakup with some other gal and bring up this issue once again... in short, gimme sometime to let me think over it, but not such a long time... no matter wat, i'll want u to be my gd fren, big bro... :)
| posted by clouds at 5:38 PM
