Friday, January 23, 2004
13 months ago, i felt that he liked me... but i wasn't over my crush well enough to accept him... or at least, that's how he felt... maybe that's why he just left it there, just satisfied with talking to me, just the 2 of us at Bishan stadium 13 months ago...
today, i was out with him... after such a long time, without seeing him... yup, we did keep in touch thruout the year, and i knew he has got a gf, and just broke up with her... but just didn't expect him to have feelings for me still... it was reassuring to have my hands in his... but do i really like him?
watching the sky turn from light to dusk once again, with him by my side, this time, the feeling is a bit different... nope, it's no longer at Bishan Stadium, at botanic gardens with the nice view of the swan lake... not only that, but the person is different... not him, he has not changed a bit, but me... i have changed... i'm no longer the little gal he knew 13 months ago... i've been thru a lot, or at least, i think i do... i dun think i deserve him anymore, or i rather, i dun think i deserve to be loved anymore... i'm a bad gal... somehow, i feel sooo bad... trying so hard, trying to be "happening", but issit the true me? i'm no longer sure abt myself... or am i just someone who wants freedom? scared of losing my freedom? i'm not so sure...
i am touched, that he still think i'm lovely, at least made me feel that i'm not so bad afterall, nevertheless, i dun think i'll make a gd gf? furthermore, is he sure he's not on the rebound? maybe time will tell, maybe that's why both of us have to think abt it... am i ready for love?
| posted by clouds at 11:33 PM
