Saturday, August 30, 2003
I hate guessing... but i can't ask... that's real bad rite? having to suppress one's curiosity?
counting the days he haven't msg me or called... it was since tues!! that was long... yeah, i can feel it, or rather, the way i can't feel for these matters, the way i keep guessing, i think i'll never hear from him unless i call or msg him? should i? i shouldn't... i hate to have history repeat itself... i think i'd rather slowly lose contact from him rather than him finding me such a nuisance and say, "i have to break all contacts from u"... yeah, if history was to repeat itself, i guess i won't need to buy him a birthday present anymore... (should i be glad?) *pls, dun let me feel so lonely tonight such that i'll call him to talk* maybe i won't be alone, with all the homeworks i've procrastinated...
homework is piling up! argh! complaining that "sch starts = no life"... really true... after a hectic week, i really think i'm half dead... but i can't give up my tuitions now, i mean they really need me, and i reaaly need $? i can't give up driving, since i've already gotten a test date = 29th Dec... which means i could be driving by next year? well, dun think i'll be so lucky to pass at first attempt... the readings are piling up, but i just dun feel like reading... i hate to see my efforts the previous few sems to pull my cap up put to vain this sem... i must at least maintain? which is hard, considering the modules i'm taking now require lots of memorising (which i hate!!)... and my cap is a bit too HIGH to maintain the standard :P Oops...
Looking forward to next fri... going clubbing again... hee~ 3rd time! yeah, there i go again... and something more to rejoice on fri, cos i'll be officially out of the club, my cca... i feel kinda sad, that i'll no longer need to do things for my cca and the ppl there i'll miss, tho i'm always welcome to drop by the cca room, it won't be the same anymore! just happy that there'll be no more obligations, no more duties to do (there goes my other source of income). i feel kinda cheated tho, my fren said she's leaving this year too... but then, after they persuaded her to stay, she relented... i mean, they did try to ask me to stay, but i dun think they pester me enough to make me change my mind... they should be thinking, i'm just a waste of resources if i stay? i mean i can't do things well, i'm not very responsible especially towards may '03 period... and well, i really shouldn't have stayed too... considering the damage i've done :P (actually, not much damage was done, except maybe my integrity was wounded...) and my junior was teasing me about no time for cca now cos i need time to date? nah, c'mon, i'm not dating anyone now, and i really hate to seem like i'm someone desperate for love? or am i really? eeks...
really should go out and get gifts for the sept babies soon... tomorrow? but who'll accompany me? or i'll just go alone? no BIG deal, isn't it? hmm...
| posted by clouds at 10:11 PM
