Thursday, January 29, 2004
I feel so guilty! not cos i ate the "tang yuan" cos it's fattening, but i felt guilty for accepting the peanut riceballs from this guy who sends me home now and then...
last nite had late nite lecture again... and dear old ML (i dunno whether i mentioned him b4?) sent me and ade home... then he passed me 2 packs of "tang yuan" been craving it and actually wanted to go Beach rd mkt with Ade and Aud one of these days to eat it... and yup, he got it for me... but then, suddenly, i lose all my appetite for it... didn't touch the "tang yuan" last nite, ate a few mouthfuls this morning for breakfast... but suddenly, it's no longer appealing... maybe cos the person who bought it for me is not "appealing" enough? i am bad...
suddenly, i feel that i'm leading everyone on... this is not gd... i am not a gd gal... somehow, why can't i have gd guy frens? nothing more? how do i show that i am this passionate to all my frens? regardless of their sex? oh pls... i am not attractive, appealing in any sense... so i really dun understand why all these is happening to me... i shall retreat back into my cocoon, back into the world where me, myself and i live in... where i feel lonely, sad and depressed in the same way... i shall be antisocial... can i? no, i do not want love, it just complicate things... i can live alone, i guess... or really can i?
| posted by clouds at 10:44 AM
