Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Dun be surprised to see this neopets character.. hee. . yah.. call me childish call me kiddish, but i play only 1 game (freaky factory) in neopets to destress(excuses!!).. and i simply love this cute little character( cos when it appears, it means i'm on a higher level..) and then dear also loves dinosuars a lot!! im sure u love this rite?
haiz.. but then today dunno why the "freaky factory" didn't work, can't load.. i'm dying.. of withdrawal symtoms.. haha.. ok, shall go do my fyp.. im finishing soon.. maybe i shall take an afternoon nap too?
dedicate the next 2 chomby pic to dear!!!
too bad can't find a purple one.. i tried to start creating a chomby, but they say it's limited edition, dun haf anymore left :( *sad* my shoyru is lonely~~
| posted by clouds at 4:03 PM
Friday, March 18, 2005
friends are not like hotels..
~Friends are not like hotels~You can't just check out of a friendship when you enter into a relationship -By Janice Wong
SHE used to be my classmate.
We shared the same hobbies, borrowed each other's lecture notes and had long telephone conversations.
All that changed when she had a boyfriend. She would cancel our appointments whenever he asked her out.
The first time it happened, I shrugged it off and even squealed in excitement for her. The second time it happened, I was annoyed but only remarked casually that I seemed to be on her B-list of friends. The third time it happened, I swore never to ask her out again.
She did not make amends. I guess the growing distance between friends can't be felt when one seems joined at the hip with one's partner and have him as a companion for all of one's activities.
Then, they broke up. She called me in tears at midnight and I consoled her. All was forgiven. It felt good to put aside petty misgivings and stand steadfastly by a friend in times of adversity. Isn't that what friends are for?
Our friendship resumed. But when she found another man, suddenly, her weekends were reserved again. Whenever I called her, she sounded preoccupied and anxious to get off the phone. Later, she became completely incommunicado.
A year later, I got a call from her; she was distraught. She told me her boyfriend had dumped her and asked that we meet. I declined and ignored her subsequent calls.
I did not say what I was thinking: 'My friendship is not a hotel. You don't walk in and out, as and when you wish.
'No matter how head over heels in love I may be - and no matter how a man's charm may make my hormones rage - it never gets to the point where he takes priority over my close friends.
It's a no-brainer. My friends have proven their mettle and stuck with me through thick and thin, while he has merely entered the picture with goodness-knows-what intentions.
Even if I were married, being with my husband would still not override time spent with my close friends. I know of people who stop seeing certain friends or resort to seeing them on the sly just because their spouses do not approve of them doing so.
A spouse will never be able to support one's emotional needs entirely and he or she has to understand that some of these needs will have to be met outside, by friends.
Friendship brings other problems. As my social circle widens, I find it increasingly difficult to discern who my real friends and fair weather ones are.
I often feel I am invited to parties and sought after as a friend for no other reason than that I am a journalist and can, hopefully, be a means to free publicity.
The more people I know, the lonelier I feel. I am a sentimental soul who prefers the comfort of old friendships which hark back to a time when I was simply Janice, minus the fancy title and trappings.
This is why I am not entirely sure that I did the right thing by quitting that friendship. Was I too demanding? Should I have given her a second chance?
After all, we really got along and it was not like she committed something treacherous like cheating me of my money, betraying a secret or stealing my boyfriend.
Still, I have had enough of being taken for granted. Being single and available does not mean my time is any less valuable than hers.
When it is consistently a case of one person giving and the other person taking, it is time to take stock of the friendship and, perhaps, call it quits.
Like courtship - or even more so - friendship requires time, effort and reciprocity. While courting parties can demand commitment of each other directly, the expectations in a friendship are usually implicit, subtle and unsaid, and as a result, more prone to neglect.
You may love your friends very much, but if they don't hear from you for an extended period of time, it's only human nature that they wonder just how much you really care about them.
As the late civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr said: 'In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.'Don't misunderstand me. Couples who are newly in love are naturally consumed by each other to the exclusion of everything - and everyone - else. I don't begrudge that. I certainly didn't expect my friend to pay as much attention to me as she did when she was single.
I also accept that when life exerts its pressures and one's career picks up pace, some friendships fade away. But I would be happy to rekindle such friendships.
What I bristle at is being relegated to a nobody when romance calls and then being treated like some sort of stop-gap measure when it ends.
So let's take some time out this week to have a drink with a dear old friend, say 'How are you?' and be sincerely interested in finding out how they are.
I have never been so busy or so popular to the extent that I have no time for an old friend. Nor, I pray, will I ever be so.
Hs sent me this email.. it's true that i spent less time with all my galfrens now, but i shall say that i dun spend that much time with my bf as well.. the only time we spent together are the time he sends me home and the time we have lunch or dinner together in sch which is only once(lunch) or twice(dinner) a week. sometimes for a movie or lunch on the wkends..
as every1 else gets busy with their life, like my working frens, whom i only meet like once in 2 months, i tend to withdraw into the comforts of my own home, the maths lab or the library.. trying to catch up with my work, trying to not be a nuisance to anyone's life. my schooling frens are all so stressed up, including my dear, that i dun dare ask them for lunch anymore. somemore, it's rather troublesome to arrange a lunch meeting with them and they might think that becos my bf is not accompanying for lunch then i ask them. but if u ever do ask me for lunch, i'll surely be able to make it if i'm in sch and not booked for lunch. sometimes, ppl find having lunches with frens a waste of time, but it's actually time well-spent, being able to connect with ur frens, update each other on ur lives.
in short, please do not assume that i need time with my dear and stop asking me out. i'm always free, but then u all assume i go out with my dear or wat.. i dun understand why??
| posted by clouds at 8:13 AM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
sorry for the long absence.. as those who have me on their msn, u shd know that my project has been bothering me quite alot. er.. gotta prove something, yet cannot think of the way, even my qiang ge also can't think of any way.. recently realised qiang ge sounds like my dear.. or rather dear sounds like qiang ge.. both of them got soothing deep voice.. u know, those really soothing to ur ears, if they speak softly and cut out the "wah laus" and "du lans" and "indians" in the conversation.. i mean dear.. haha.. i love my qiang ge too!! hee..
anyway, met up with mel and meilin yesterday (Sat) for tea.. dear calls them M&M, hee.. anyway, we realised that our bfs (or ex-bf) are all 183cm tall!! haha.. but the thing is, the 3 of us gals are not of the same height, which caused the height difference between my bf and i to be the largest.. haha.. anyway, mel went on abt her life as an auditor, the complaints of her company, vv calculative one (wat to do? accounting firm mah..) then meilin was comparing hers with mel's haha.. oh no.. im joining the workforce soon and they're scaring me out.. hmm.. anyway, we were also talking abt meeting mel's bf from france! when he comes over for a visit in june.. so excited.. hee.. and i suggested tea chapter, where we can learn the art of chinese tea making.. and we shall go there to haf fun 1st.. hee.. yay!! i'll arrange for that soon, once i get my thesis done up properly..
anyway, we were at this place called "Royal Copenhagen" for tea on level 2 within Taka.. their service is really very lousy.. goodness.. they keep asking us whether we wanna take our orders, when we haven't decided on wat to haf.. that happens for around 3 times, till we decided on wat to haf. and mine u, we didn't take to long to decide ok? so anyway, we ordered 2 pots of "royal Copenhagen" brew, 1 cup of coffee, and a slice of marble cheesecake (which quite yummy) (and thanks M&M for singing the bday song for me.. hee..) so subsequently, they brought us our drinks, but meilin's and my tea were served together in the same teapot??! hmm.. so we confirmed with the waitress abt our order and realised that they poured 2 servings in 1 teapot..
ok.. and then we were talking happily and this waitress came up and asked us for the menu we left on the table. we were like, "can we leave it here?" and then the waitress was like "u can always ask us for it when u need it" and then mel came up with something like: "u all do not have enough menu issit?" and the waitress apologetically admitted it.. we were like "er.." so we let her take it back.
and so we continued talking, and drinking tea, and sharing the slice of cake. when we're done with the cake, the waitress efficiently came up and asked us whether she can take back the plate and the 3 dessert forks, we were like, ok.. and then the waitress also helped us pour our tea into our teacups once we were halfway thru for the cup.. so efficient? and then when we slowed down on our drinking pace to talk animately abt life, this waitress keep coming over (at least 3 times) to open the cover of our teapot to check whether we finished the tea. we were feeling like, "hey, that's very rude of u.." and so meilin was rather angry with that and we agreed to say our piece after the waitress come over the next time, which happened shortly after that. so the waitress was explaining abt not having enough teapots directly this time, since we expected this reply, meilin told her that she shd've checked other ppl's teapot as well (which she didn't, cos there's this table of taitais with 2 teapots on their table and the irritating waitress didn't touch their teapot once!) meilin told her that they should do something abt the shortage and asked to speak to the management abt this. shortly after the manager came over and meilin feedbacked to her again about our dissatisfaction. the manager replied in a not-so-apologetic manner and explain the plight and said that she can do nothing about it, cos the management didn't do anything abt it.. which is such and irony!! isn't she the manager?? er..
well, so we swear nv to go to that discriminating cafe (i think they discriminated against us youngsters, cos we look like easy to bully loh!) but when we were walking around Taka level 1 (or B1?) and came across this "Royal Copenhagen" corner, selling the cutlery and plates and teapots used by the cafe, we realised how expensive those few pieces of fragile China can be.. the teapot we used cost $320!! GAsPS.. i think they must sell at least 50 pots of tea with that teapot in order to recoup its losses.. imagine being the dishwasher of that cafe, when u break their teapots, u have to work at least 2 weeks for free!! er..
anyway, thanx for the tea M&M treated me with, was really an interesting day.. and aft meeting them for tea, i went to meet the CBLC ppl from our batch and the senior batch for dinner and we caught up on each other's life.. it was fun..
and thanx M&M for the Isetan voucher, and Qiaozhu for the pair of earrings which i love v much..
| posted by clouds at 1:55 AM
Sunday, March 06, 2005
the other day (quite some time ago) dear brought me on a cable car ride, on s'pore's cable car system.. i havent been on a cable car in singapore, tho i've been to genting's for more than 3 times at least. so it's something new.. the ride was magnificent, and the view was breathtaking (sound like mountain tortoise).. but i must say that the best part was the cable car tower's lifts at harbourfront. the lift s are those type u can see thru, and we can see the whole harbour towards sentosa.. going up the 14 storeys, we get to see the sea, the sun, the island.. v nice.. and we took the lift up and down at least 5 times haha..
then we went visited the floral display at sentosa.. which was like the last day for the display, and we went in in the last 45 min.. haha.. went in, snap snap some photos, and up on the roofless bus we take back to the cable car station in sentosa. then off we went to mt faber.. initially i thot mt faber was some romantic place where there are benches to sit and watch the sunset, but i thot wrongly.. there's nothing much there except a souvenir shop, 2 restuarants and a lookout pt with binoculars.. can see the port of singapore, can see sentosa, harbourfront and that's about it..
enjoyed myself on that day.. was such a wonderful evening spent with dear.. sorry to blog so back-dated about it i wanted to wait for the photos to be developed to blog about it bah.. hee.. here are the photos:
| posted by clouds at 1:51 AM
yun has been working on my project for more than 2 months, i thot i was goingon smoothly, till last week when realised that something that seems so easy to prove turn out to be not. i'm losing sleep over it, i'm working at full steam over it, but still yet to succeed.
my supervisor told me to maybe put it off for the time being, cos i've been working too much on it.. i agree with him, but i feel like i haven't done enough to get it down. well, anyway, sometimes we do need to step back and llok at things from afar, maybe then we will be able to find out wat went wrong and make amendments. for the time being, i guess i was being stubborn and wanted to prove to my supervisor that i'm not the lousy gal who screwed up my intro talk big time. but now i guess my midterm talk is going to be not as fantastic as i hope it will be,becos the important proof has not been found!! even my powerful lecturer has not thought of a way to help me.
well, maybe i shall describe my supervisor for my project. Dear Professor Tay Yong Chiang (note: he IS a professor) is a man in his 30s-40s.. exact age can't really guage cos he's damn happening.. his physique is small-size, yet he's lean and fit. he sports a bald head, but i swear it's not due to his old age. i heard he has many images: the hawaiian shirt with sunglasses, the forever fever slinky bell-bottomed pants with fitting shirt, the short-shorts with naked body jogging attire, the hip-hop pants and baggy t-shirt.. the list goes on.. but i've only seen the last attire i mentioned. i praying hard that one day when i go find him , i can see him in forever fever retro attire!! *pray pray* he is a very nice guy (initially i thot otherwise) but he gets impatient with my rambling (as usual) once.. haha.. yun too luo suo!! the other day i went to look for him to bother him about my proof, he wore this baby blue t-shirt, with white jeans.. shuai! and flip flops too!!! there was this time he was deep in thot and curled up in his chair to think about things.. i mean, i would nv expect a lecturer to do that, at least in front of his student. he made himself seem so approachable that i bother him too much nowadays.. with my proof lah.. which are often incomplete or full of flaws.. oh yah, did i mention that he's teaching computing subjects instead of maths? things like discrete maths taught to CS student.. he's good rite? and one thing is: he is not from China or HK!! one of the rare few s'porean maths lecturer.. and he sprinkles a bit of "lors" and "lahs" in his conversation sometimes too.
Dear Qiang Ge (wat my dear usually call him, last time dear call him Professor X) is definitely worth our respect, he stimulates thinking, he is approachable, he is very smart (obviously), and capable.. i admire him. period..
after saying so much, i hope this can gimme somemore inspiration to work on my proof.. haha.. tell u all more abt another lecturer of mine, who's going to be my examiner for my project next time. stay tuned for the shuai ge lecturer, Professor Zhao Gongyun! till then.. ciaoz!!
| posted by clouds at 1:12 AM
Thursday, March 03, 2005
happy belated bday to me!!
turned 23 yesterday.. felt so old.. no longer 21, 22.. but 23!!!
sobs.. so old liao..
this year i got an epilator from my frens.. so paiseh to make u all spend so much $ on me.. but i'm glad u all got me a gift i've been wanting for so long.. sorry loh, yun can't help it but have so much fur on my body mah.. esp legs.. must at least be hair free rite?
yesterday dear bought me a bday cake amidst his busy schedule. an Etoile from Sweet Secrets.. very nice, fluffy, yummy, and chocolaty!! so sorry dear, for throwing tantrum yesterday.. i was too tired to care about dear's feeling, that i threw tantrum and din really show much appreciation for the lengths he went thru to get me a cake.. the 1st cake he bought me.. other than my mood, everything was fine yesterday.. pple sent me happy birthday sms, ppl asked me to enjoy my day with my dear.. yah, but i spent the nite hungry and cold giving tuitions.. such a spoiler..
i love mistreating myself.. i love to feel the gastric juices swallow my tummy.. i love the feel of the epilator plucking all my legs hair off.. i love to pierce holes in my ears.. i love tiring myself out with so many tuitions at one go, playing with neopets till the wee hours of the night.. yes, im a fool, in the process of self destruction.. kill me bah..
| posted by clouds at 1:58 PM
