why issit that major setbacks happen at the same time??
let's start from today...
Was at MAS for an interview for their graduate officer scheme. initially i was already quite apprehensive cos they had so many different segments to test us-- the essay writing, group discussion, casual talk with some of their officers then the final interview with their penal of 2 interviewers.
when i reached, and was sitting around outside to wait for everything to start. then i was talking to some of the interviewees, and found out their background:
- Ms fair lady: graduated with a bachelor's degree at some university in US then went on to do a pre law somewhere, and finally a master's degree at Barcelona, in economics and urban studies.
- Mr Chinaman-who-doesn't-look-china-at-all: graduated with a EEE degree in NTU and currently taking a masters in financial engineeringin NTU, graduating in july as well.
- Mr "imperial": graduated from Imperial college (for a moment, i got a huge mental block and can't recall the speeling of "imperial" issit "emperior" "inferior".. watever!) with a EEE degree 1st class honours..
- Mr India (sorry, not that im racist, but it really piss me off that all these pple are competing for MY job!!): currently doing Masters in corporate law in NUS. dunno abt his degree, but i was already quite turned off when he started.
as u all can see.. how can i, a mere NUS Applied Maths graduate shine above all these interesting profiles??? wat's worse is one of the 2 interviewers was from my internship interviewers.. i guess since she rejected me once, she could reject me the 2nd time!! bleah..
issit just my luck? why do i haveto face all these foreign competiton (in the form of foreign talents, and foreign education)? i mean it's not fair cos i definitely have less to say during our group discussion. they have a wider scope of education.. they haf better ability to communicate. i hate it.. it's a unfair world out there..
which brings me back to yesterday, the start of major setbacks.. yesterday had my intro talk for my project.. i was a bundle of nerves, plus the fact that i had to present in front of my lecturer. plus the technical parts was already explained to me very much earlier on that im already not so sure of the terms.. i tried to explain, define yet realised later on the loopholes and faults in my arguments, when my lecturer asked me questions.. later, he told me not to put in the terms i do not know or are not sure of. even the important equation was poorly explained. i guess im dead meat. there goes my 3%.. i went to see my lecturer after that, and he told me where i went wrong.. drastic mistakes! i was so discouraged, i went to the toilet and hid there to cry..
i can't take it anymore.. all these discouraging things are turning up one by one..
| posted by clouds at 8:30 PM
