Wednesday, April 28, 2004
maybe a lot of 22 yr old gals have received roses before... maybe lots and lots of roses already... but today i received the 1st rose in my life... nah, i'm not that surprised... all becos of a blunder my dear made... nevertheless, i'm still very, very happy.
am i easily satisfied? just got super excited when i knew i'll be getting a rose today... still staring at the stalk of red rose i put in a tall glass just beside my bed... hee... dun think i can sleep before thinking abt how wonderful today has passed 100X...
dear dropped by for some homely lunch. made him dumplings + instant noodles... humble but full of love... normal but full of both our effort... hee... nv had this kind of feeling before... :) shall really brush up on my cooking skills, really pale in comparison to those who can bake fantastic cheese cake, make american breakfast, pancakes... hmm... i shall improve!
looking forward to tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow and everyday!! hee... :)
| posted by clouds at 11:02 PM
Monday, April 26, 2004
u know when u're a kid, what is ur favourite part of a playground? is it the slide? the see saw? or the swing?
when i was small, i don't like playing the see saw cos i can't find myself a companion to sit on the other side of the see saw with me... furthermore, my butt hurts with the constant bumping...
the slide sometimes scare me, cos i'm afraid i'll land outside the flat landing at the end of the slide... sometimes the sun always burns the metal slide and makes it too hot to slide...
my favourite part of the playground is the swing... it always bring me high up in the sky and throws me into excitement... feeling the wind blow in my face, blowing my hair away from my face... the feeling was great... superb...
today, after such a long time, i got to take a swing... felt how i felt when i was little... higher! higher! i asked dear to push me harder and harder... it felt like flying.. the feeling was great... i felt so much like a small kid... it was great... all worries gone with the wind... i thot i'll never feel like this anymore, but i felt it today... no more worries...
the high-flying feeling... wow, was unimagineably wonderful... and knowing that someone will be behind u to make sure u won't fall, that someone will be there to catch u when u do fall... i can totally let loose of myself... and fly higher and higher... cos i know u'll be there to catch me if i fall... that i'll be in ur arms when i feel like crying... that u'll be there to love me, no matter how flawful i am...
it's been 1 month already... everyday seems too good to be true... even when u're not by my side, i can feel ur warmth, ur care, ur love... i wonder how we'll be coping when 20th may reach... suddenly, i don't seem to look forward to my australia trip as much as before... cos we'll be missing each other too much...
| posted by clouds at 8:38 PM
Friday, April 23, 2004
dear friends,
i once heard this story before on music diary... a teacher asks her primary
school students what is the most important thing in life.. one answered,"
money!".. another answered,"fame"... "power" shouted another... "TOYS!"
someone shouted from the back of the classroom... there was this gal sitting
quietly at the corner of the class, deep in thought.. the teacher in
curiosity asked her,"amelia.. what do you think?"... the little gal thought
for a while then answered in a doubtful voice," er... friends?".. well
sometimes there is no need to think so much about a certain thing.. because
the answer is often the most obvious one.. the little gal knew from young
that friends are important..
when you do well for ur exams, always remember the friends who taught you
how to solve the difficult problems or send u a "jia you" sms when u are
feeling down and bored..
when you win a championship, always remember the friends who were there when
u fail or fall..
when you win the heart of a gal/guy that you like, always remember the
friends who were there as a listening ear when u fail previously.. or lend u
a shoulder when u cried..
always remember to look back and see who have helped you come this way.. the
end trophy may be important but the process is precious too.. without the
journey, there will be no finishing line..
suddenly feel like writing such an email after a talk with a friend.. life
is short and i hope all of you will treasure ur friends as well..
if u are reading this email now, it means that i treasure you as a friend..
cos i dun send it to any cat and dog.. well for those who delete this
without reading it.. hmm maybe i have seen wrongly.. but i hope i didnt..
pls dun go scholl through my mailing list to find out who are my friends.. i
mail in groups lor..
lastly i would like to thank SY and of cos all the friends which means
everyone of u all for helping me thru sometime or another during this 21
years...
regards
esmond
recently been quite deprived of inspiration... can't really think of wat to blog... shag after a swim, but well, at least there's this email written by my dear to fill it up... hee...
| posted by clouds at 1:12 PM
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
torture is finally over... at last... long and tedious... at last the exams are over... i shall say that altho this time's preparation work wasn't as gd as previous sem, i hope i can still fare well...
things to look forward to in the coming wks:
- facial treatment tml ( my complexion is so disgusting!! )
- swim with huey and pf on fri
- 1 mth anniversary... hee...
- pizza hut double ring crust outing on sat! (sinful, but yummy!! hee...)
- ktv on sun... (at long last...)
- movie: "50 first dates" one of the days next wk...
- ktv with huey and pf
- ktv with shihui and company
- ktv with pri sch frens... (wow, gonna burn a hole in my pocket at this rate...)
- driving lessons... (extremely expensive) haiz~ hope i pass this time round...
- zoo?
- bt timah food mkt makan outing (gonna become a poor BABE at this rate... literally a pig loh...) haiz...
- wat else? wat else? seems like quite a long list liao...
more updates soon... too tired to think of chim chim things to put down... getting my well deserved sleep soon... yawnz...
| posted by clouds at 11:28 PM
Sunday, April 18, 2004
it's been such a long time since i blogged... partly cos i realised i got my sis as ardent fans of my blog -- not supposed to let her know. but well, can't be help cos she has found out... and cos these few days been going to sch to study... imagine going to sch on sun to study? am i crazy or wat?
but i must admit i can't study properly at home, 1stly cos i'm sharing a table with my computer... 2ndly, cos i'll miss someone so much and he'll feel the same as well... been rather productive to study in sch, together with the company of peifang and sh... thanx gals! and not to forget dear who's always there to accompany me thru bus journeys and walks...
no, i'm not tired of walking Dover or back home, dear, i simply enjoy the times we spend together... walks are always so interesting, with u looking out for me always, holding my hand so tightly like a little gal's, laughing at my silly entics, u singing to me (that irritating song! argh!!)...
time simply flies when i'm with u, like today and everyday... soon we're approaching 1 mth... can u believe it? it's not even one mth yet? ha ha... but well, i'm enjoying every moment of this 26 days with u, dear... sometimes i might seem cold, but i am actually just trying to soak in the warmth, the love, the care that u shower on me... dear, i love it when i rest my head on ur shoulder, i love it when u rest ur head on mine, i love it when u stare at me lovingly, i love it when u wipe away my tears and comfort me when i'm feeling down... i love every single moment i spend with u, and i know u hope we can spend a lifetime together, me too...
i just don't understand why i'll expose my vulnerable side to u, cos not a lot of ppl has seen it. all along, the strong front i've built up, it's crumbling... with assurance from u, i know u'll protect me and never hurt me... i hope i'll not hurt u with my switching between warmth and cold cos i dun want things to get "overheated" sometimes... hee... dear, thanx for being so understanding... is this the reassurance u need? if u want me to be "warmer", tell me? ha ha...
btw, i've attempted 1 past yr paper for tml's paper, dun worry, i'm coping fine (for tml's paper only, ha ha...) prepare to see me cry on wed... the killer paper... *sobs* good luck for the rest of the papers.. to all who're reading this, and to those who've finished their exams, good time for some fun! and gd luck to sh for tml's last 2 papers! and to my NTU frens, press on, it's already the last leg of the race... :)
| posted by clouds at 11:38 PM
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Please don't say I love you
Those words touch me much too deeply
And they make my core tremble
Don't think you realize the power you have over me
And please don't come so close
It just makes me want to make you near me always
Please don't kiss me so sweet
It makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
And please don't touch me like that
Makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
Please don't look at me like that
It just makes me want to make you near me always
Please don't send me flowers
They only whisper the sweet things you'd say
Don't try to understand me
Your hands already know too much anyway
It just makes me want to make you near me always
And when you look in my eyes
Please know my heart is in your hands
It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms
You have complete power over me
So be gentle if you please, 'cause
Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth
And it makes me want to make you near me always
I want to be near you always
| posted by clouds at 10:48 PM
Monday, April 05, 2004
this morning was really funny... dear was supposed to board the bus at 650 am at the busstop opp mac, but he called me and told me that he couldn't make it by 650am... and so we had to meet at the busstop before macritchie... but then dear boarded an empty bus at the busstop... then he asked whether i would like to board his bus... and so, i alighted my bus to board his bus, but his bus just zoomed off when i got to the busstop... so sad... so we stuck to the original plan of meeting at the busstop before macritchie...
but then i called him when i boarded my bus to meet him at the macritchie busstop... told him to board my bus instead, but my bus was so full it din stop!! gasp... so in the end, we just had to meet at dover busstop... else this will last the whole morning...
2 sha guas... boarding and alighting buses, but can't get to take the bus together... funny... maybe cos it's the 13th day together? ha ha... unlucky things happen to both of us? he got onto the freezer bus in the end, whereas i got onto a full bus which i dun get to sit... ha ha...
life's always so magical with dear around, or maybe i'm just super dreamy... makes everything seem so fun... with dear around, going to sch seems so much more appealing... :)
love ya...
| posted by clouds at 9:24 PM
Saturday, April 03, 2004
today spent the whole day in ssch studying... damn tiring :( but it was all worth it, to spend the whole day with dear in the library, cheering each other on... and doing my "porky" act again... hee... that is, falling asleep aft breakfast and lunch... in between eating "porky" dear bought for me... ha ha... thanx dear, for taking such gd care of me... i'm getting fat liao... dun treat me so well leh... hee...
these few days felt blessed... with dear caring so much for me... being so understanding, boosting my confidence, but to no avail... hee... dear, u're the best... dear ah, u really too skinny liao, eat more ok? really pains me to see u so skinny... and take care of urself... go sleep early, oops... sounding so naggy liao...
hmm... yeah i know wat u mean dear... the walk home seems so short... and getting shorter everyday... with every step, we walk slower just becos we wanna spend more time together... do u realise that we spent 2 hrs 15 min just to have dinner and come home? amazing... and it feels so short tho... i really understand...
ok nvm, next wk... i promise to spend time with u, if u promise to study as much ok? i think i'm neglecting all my other frens... hmm... will catch up with the rest of u when the exams are over k? hee...
| posted by clouds at 11:19 PM
Thursday, April 01, 2004
i applied online for an MAS internship and they got back to me yesterday... hee... was quite surprised they called, cos i tot my application sank into the deep blue sea already... anyway, yup, i just came back from the interview... they're looking for someone who can commit 10-12 wks during the holidays to work on a project... but i can only be available for 8 wks? hmm... they're still consider me, they said, if i work fast enough, then the project can be done within 8 wks... hmm... a 2nd shot at MAS... rem i got rejected for the scholarship... but i just hope i get this stint at MAS this time round...
back to CBD... hee... can't wait... then can meet my mum for lunch sometime too... hee... haiz, but then to think that i'll be not free during the holidays is kinda sad... hmm... i'm sure dear understands... he wants the best for me as well...
was so panicky this morning, forgot this, forgot that... was in such a fluster... but phew, real glad it's over... haiz... another day wasted not studying... later gotta give it my last shot before i go for peifang's bday party... *quick print, quick print... haiz, my printer cannot make it...*
| posted by clouds at 2:01 PM
