Wednesday, February 04, 2004
i've been taking sooo many ppl for granted... now that too many things are happening, and i keep blaming myself for each and every thing that is closely relate to me and din turn out as well as it shd be...
i'm sorry, yuetling, for not being able to help much when i hand over, for leaving things in a mess sometimes... i guess everyone must've hated me for dumping... sorry hui, for causing u all the trouble nowadays, for not being able to help with watever that's happening...
i'm just a selfish, self-centred, pampered, spoilt brat... don't deserve any pity from anyone, don't deserve anybody to love me... no matter how many "Tuesdays with Morrie" i have read, i won't be able to cleanse my soul. it's just an illusion, that i will change for the better, cos in fact, i'm getting worse and worse as day goes by... degradation process goes on, exponentially increasing, the rate is scary...
somehow, i feel that i haven't been sensitive to other's feelings... i tend to be too direct, or maybe sometimes, i just don't mean for things to come out this way, but it did... it's rather scary, cos if i try to save watever damage i've done, it'll become worse! i guess i'm better off living in a world of my own, where i can bother no one, where i can love or hate noone but myself? i guess i really need to be more antisocial...
| posted by clouds at 11:25 PM
