Friday, January 28, 2005
recently, i've been asked to go for job interviews.. well, kiasu me hope to get a job by the time i graduate, so here i am, going to interview in the midst of school.
i just came back from an interview at PSA. for the post of an operations executive. title sounds nice right? but it's a tough job. 12 hour shift work. u can forget abt going out to town every Saturday, or being home to sleep everyday. and we will be working at PSA terminals, making sure that everything runs smoothly, which means getting exposed to the sun, runnin around in a jeep (we get to drive!) sounds exciting right? but i'm not so sure whether they'll ask me to go down for the 2nd interview. part of me wants this challenging job, but the other part of me hope i can get a better office job (9-5 kind).. well, keep my fingers crossed.
then, i'll be going for an interview at Mas.. i really wanted to work in MAS, badly.. missing a chance at its scholarship, missing a chance on its internship, i hope i won't miss my 3rd chance! but this time round this interview is as tough as it could get. there is an essay writing session (which i dunno wat they wan me to write!!), there's a group of interviewees discussion session, and some chat with their officers, and last but not least the actual interview with the HR people.. all these intimidated me.. ALOT.. argh.. why issit so hard to get my dream job?? there goes my 3rd chance...
sobs.. why issit so hard to get a job? why do we haf to get thru interviews.. i'll sure flunk every interview.. haiz..
wish me luck on thur.. i badly needed it. especially when i havent been writing or reading much!!!
| posted by clouds at 3:19 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
grandma passed away yesterday morning.. peacefully.. with none of her children being able to make it in time to see her for the last time. that's the only regret for all of us bah. but i guess everyone's been ready for this day, as we see her slowly fading away at the hospital.
her blood pressure was dropping.. from the day she was hospitalised. her heart is not strong enough anymore. cos she has no appetite to eat these few months, she had no strength to fight the cancer devil. and even when the doctor gave her 3 more months to live upon her hospitalisation, all of us knew that the end was near as we watch grandma sleeping with the oxygen mask on. her body had detoriate when we 1st sent her to the hospital and realised that she had a tumour which can't be removed. she lost a lot of weight, her frail and thin limbs pains everyone of us. to make matters worse, about a month ago, water started bloating her tummy and limbs. and the doctor just gave her medication (which is totally ineffective) to get rid of the bloatedness. and since then, we saw the downward decline of grandma's health.
though she's gone, we were just glad that she need not suffer anymore from the pain the devil was causing her. and i do hope grandpa will continue to take care of her in heaven.
rest in peace.
| posted by clouds at 3:15 PM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
my grandma's hospitalised again.
the doctor says she's got only 3 months left.. it's sad to see her slowly fade away, and there's nothing we can do to save her.
| posted by clouds at 9:09 AM
what happens when ur friend dislikes ur bf and ur bf dislikes the same friend???
i really think it shouldn't be my fault unless u all think i'm too easy-going when it comes to making friends. nevertheless, i dun want to put on a mask everytime i meet frens. but i guess i can't ever treat my this fren the same way as before. there is already the hatred growing inside of her. there is already the spot between us, the spot that is permanent, unable to remove.
i've already done whatever i can, or rather, i just dun know what else i can do, but do nothing. if i still want both relationships, i guess it's still not up to me. both of them are equally stubborn, and not feel a least bit in the wrong. and both of them feel wronged!! i dun care what goes on between u two, i just hope i can still be frens.. can?
yah, it's not right of me to sit on the fence. and the 1st time i faced this kind of problem is not now, but in primary school.. i guess every1 has experienced this kind of feeling before, in some point of their life or other. however, this time round it's to a bigger extent and i can't handle it! i'm sorry i seem like such a wimp, but i take the "sit-on-the-fence"stand in this kind of things, so sorry i'm not going to do something about the character of my this fren or my bf's right or wrong. that's me, like it or not..
abandon me, for all u want! not like i haven't been abandoned before. if what i've put in for the frendship is not enough, ask urself, have u put in enough for me?
| posted by clouds at 8:55 AM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
I simply love musicals.. my all time favourite is the "sound of music".. hmm.. was supposed to blog earlier, but was tied up with work and play.. haha..
i caught "Phantom of the Opera" last wk, and i loved it.. although i cannot say for the person whom went with me. but well at least he wasn't complaining so i guessed it must've passed. of cos it'll pass, it'll pass the standard of "after sunset" *yawnz*
I've been wanting to watch the actual musical since sec 1, when it was brought into Singapore, but well, can't afford it mah. then came the movie, which was perfect! cheap and i still get to enjoy every song. it was very, very enchanting.. though somehow a bit scary cos the phantom was a bit of a psycho! haha..
i love this scene especially.. so romantic..
"RAOUL No more talk of darkness, Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you -my words will warm and calm you. Let me be your freedom ,let daylight dry -your tears. I'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you . . .CHRISTINE Say you love me every waking moment ,turn my head with talk of summertime . . .Say you need me with you, now and always . . .promise me that all you say is true -that's all I ask of you . . .
RAOUL Let me be your shelter,let me be your light. You're safe: No-one will find you, your fears are far behind you . . .
CHRISTINE All I want is freedom, a world with no more night . . .and you always beside me to hold me and to hide me . . .
RAOUL Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime . . .Let me lead you from your solitude . . .Say you need me with you here, beside you . . .anywhere you go, let me go too -Christine, that's all I askof you . . .
CHRISTINE Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime . . .say the word and I will follow you . . .
BOTH Share each day with me, each night, each morning . . .
CHRISTINE Say you love me . . .
RAOUL You know I do . . .
BOTH Love me -that's all I askof you . . .(They kiss) Anywhere you go let me go too . . .Love me -that's all I askof you . .(CHRISTINE starts from her reverie)
CHRISTINE I must go -they'll wonder where I am . . .wait for me, Raoul!
RAOULChristine, I love you!
CHRISTINE;Order your fine horses!Be with them at the door!
RAOUL And soon you'll be beside me!
CHRISTINE You'll guard me, and you'll guide me . . ."
but the gal died in the end, psycho din die :( sad..
but well.. it's a nice show.. regardless of all the bad reviews, i feel it's nice! :)
| posted by clouds at 1:55 AM
Saturday, January 01, 2005
i felt like walking down my fave tree-lined pedestrain walkway downstairs, in the middle of the nite.
feel the breeze on my face, absorb the silence around me, feel the warmth of my fleece jacket hugging me tightly.
i want to feel the deep dark nite engulf me.. i wanna feel extremely lonely, feel the love slowly leaving me, suck me free of emotions for the nite.
maybe i should've gone Dbl O and dance the nite away, feel all the noise deafen me, let all the chaos numb me, peel away all the emotions i have..
i hate myself for being so emotional.. i hate myself for crying when i feel lonely, for feeling depressed, for feeling angry.. can someone just remove me of emotions?
| posted by clouds at 1:03 PM
Happy new yr to everyone.. sorry for neglecting my blog these month..
been busy with things.. busy coming up with "Shi Yun's Theorem", busy with house getting repainted, busy with family politics, busy meeting up with frens i haven't met up for such a long time, busy with trying to act busy.. haha..
but will be free these few days, emotionally free.. don't ask me why, i don't wanna talk about it. i'm on vacation as a gf till tue.. i'm single and available till tue, so anyone wanna date me??
although new yr starts on such a negative note this yr.. i hope it'll be great.. i have 361 days left to feel happy rite?
have a wonderful 2005!!! love ya all!!!
| posted by clouds at 11:54 AM
