Wednesday, May 19, 2004
I'm gonna turn Aussie babe tml... i told meilin last nite, that part of me is dreading the trip... yet, i'm also looking forward to travelling again with them. think i tok abt it the previous entry... yah, same feeling..
yesterday went over meilin's house for itenary planning and cookout session... finally done with the itenary only at 11 pm... yawnz, tired... yesterday, cooked dinner for meilin and her family, together with mel and meilin's help... was quite proud of my cooking skills... hee...
Menu : Lotus root and Peanuts soup.
Chicken, mushroom and potato stew.
onions omelette
fried vege with prawns
simple, yet i think that's the best we can whip up from wat we can find in her fridge :) boy, it sure is tiring to cook for so many ppl, big, big pot, v hard to come up with how much flavouring to put into the pot...
yummylicious? nah, just a normal homely chinese meal, hope we dun fare too badly... ha ha, with the help of secret ingredient (oyster sauce ) ha ha...
this is gonna be my last blog entry till 1st of june, dun miss me too much while i'm not around, but also dun forget abt me k? Miss ya all!!!
| posted by clouds at 10:30 AM
Sunday, May 16, 2004
counting down to the days i'm leaving singapore for my holiday... same kind of mixed feelings again. same kind of unwillingness on one end and looking forward to on the other end...
frankly speaking, the prospect of leaving singapore for 13 days kinda scares me. 13 days without dear. 13 cold long days. or maybe i'll get used to it after a few days in australia. and i won't feel like getting back on the 13th day. i don't know, i don't wanna think abt it.
today spent the last few days in s'pore (speaking like i'm not coming back), doing something silly... AGAIN... ha ha.. the 2 of us almost died i think... must remember today, all thanks to my ULTIMATE navigation skills, made us walk for 30 min to find a rd out of somewhere... hee... sweating like fountain by the time we reached the main rd... sorry dear...:P
tml gonna catch TROY.. Brad Pitt. yummy!! ha ha...
gotta start packing soon, oops, was supposed to do it today... haiz...
| posted by clouds at 10:33 PM
i truly found it heart warming, would like to share it with everyone who reads my blog...
I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl. "I am young again!" she shouts exuberantly.
As my friend raves on about her new love, I've taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home. When my friend asked me "What will make this love last?" I ran through all the obvious reasons:commitment shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, and communication. Yet there's more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times.
Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.
And there are surprises.
One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my cooking kettle) and the "treasure" of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.
There is understanding.
I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids - and even him - to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.
There is sharing.
Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens - we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I'd read it.
There is forgiveness.
When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, "It's okay. It's only money."
There is sensitivity.
Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it's been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year old woman that had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman's husband standing beside her bed, caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.
There is faith.
Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer's disease on her father-in-law's personality. On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, This is too much heartache for one week.
Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor's house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends. That night, I told my husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.
Finally, there is knowing.
I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night; he'll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head; I'll lock us.
I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer: it's just a familiar hue. We don't feel particularly young: we've experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories. I hope we've got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had Scott's wedding band engraved with Robert Browning's line "Grow old along with me!"
We're following those instructions. "If anything is real, the heart will make it plain." There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be blessed to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever. Hope you find this kind
of love in your life.
yes, to everyone out there, if u've found someone who is comfortable to be with, whom u can share ups and downs with, who believes in u, who understands u, who cherishes u, who is sensitive to ur feelings, please, do not let go. please don't ever let go of that special someone, just like i won't.
| posted by clouds at 10:21 PM
Friday, May 14, 2004
~chalet~
~chalet~
many many things have happened these few days... haven't had the chance to blog abt all the happenings.. argh!! stupid comp have been throwing tantrums... sometimes, i can't go online, sometimes i can only get to neopets pg (my sis set as homepage)...
went to CBLC chalet at Sentosa... nice, big place.. many many beds... the 1st time i slept so much at chalet... *oink oink* i feel so much like a pig. but 2nd day at the chalet was so tiring, i almost died... ha ha... the effect of being too lazy aft the holidays started. have only been to swim 2 times and jog once... yesterday the roaming around sentosa really took it's toil on me... haiz, made me so tired the whole of last nite... yawnz... still not enough sleep, will sleep early tonight...
met up with me and meilin on the tue that just passed, to get our visa to australia done. yup, it's done... counting down the days to my trip... less than 1 wk left, having mixed feelings... i dunno how i'm gonna survive 13 days away from s'pore...
yup, and also on that day, i passed driving!! at last... hee... and then i went out with dear to celebrate my success.. of cos, dear was a great support.. .the day before, i really had pre- test jitters (and felt so demoralised i was crying), and kept mounting the curb for s- course... thought i could never master the s- course... but i did at last... and boy, was i ever so glad... issit the power of "ixora"? or issit my own (powerful) driving skills? hee... well, i nv gonna know... hee..
thanx to those who're concerned about my driving, well i didn't disappoint any of u ;) as for dear es, thanx for being there for me, for believing in me, for all that u've done :) i hope my trip will end as soon as it have been approaching me... dunno whether i'm estatic cos i'm travelling again with mel and meilin? or i'm sad cos i'll be away for 13 long days...
going watch survivor now...
| posted by clouds at 7:39 PM
Sunday, May 09, 2004
today i saw something which make me think deeply... i was on bus 851 with shiyun gg chinatown to sing ktv.. at this busstop an elderly man board the bus, carrying many many plastic bags with him.. and he sat just behind the bus driver.. i notice him becos of the way he struggle up the bus..
after a while.. a stench start to emit and apread around the bus... the pungent smell was unmistakeable.. it was human waste.. many people have notice too and i was looking ard and many other people will reacting to it too.. i guess that there was something that the old man brought up the bus.. cos he was the last to board..
me and shiyun shifted to the back as it was a bendy bus.. with 2 carriages.. and many people follow suit too.. in the end the truth was that the old man had shitted in his pants.. i guess he probably had some illness and he was unable to contain it.. in fact as many people shifted to the back he even change seats and dirtied other seats too.. the bus driver drove him off the bus.. and took newspaper to put on the infected seats.. a 50 odd old man sitting beside me was chucking with amusement.. and i had to return a polite smile..
2 points to ponder...
1)was the bus driver justified in sending the poor old man off?
2)was the incident funny?
i personally think it was a tough decision to make.. abt point 1... for the sake of other passengers there was a need to chase him off the bus.. but the poor old man was not entirely at fault.. he wasnt able to control it.. but maybe yes.. he shld have stayed at just one seat... but i still think the bus driver shld have talk nicely to him.. and not shout at him..
obviously the incident was not funny.. i dun know why.. but fellow friends.. i am sure u all will agree that if i was in sec 2, at the peak of my evilness.. i would have laugh at him non stop... but i dun know but i din find the incident funny at all.. maybe i have grown up.. but i really think most6 of the credit shld go to the book "tuesday with morrie".. its a wonderful book.. think abt it.. everyone will go thru such a deterioration of body.. unless u die at the peak of ur health that is...
we really shld treasure what we have, cos we dun know when we will lose it.. money is impt but not essential.. think abt it.. the money u earn ur whole lifetime cant be brought into the grave.. value ur friends, family and beliefs.. they are priceless.. another way to think abt money.. imagine u working all ur life and u reach ur peak and u retire.. after u retire u spend back all ur money in ur later life in hospital fees doing one operation after another and ur money in the bank goes to zero.. haha.. everything is a cycle.. u come to the world a helpess baby, u leave the world as an old man, but one thing is the same.. u are helpless.. u are most prob unable to do a simple thing like wiping ur backside.. u come here with no money and u will leave peniless too.. so what matters is the intangible things that u will bring with u when u die.. what have u achieve this lifetime? think abt it for a few minutes..
es, always seeking to live life to the fullest
| posted by clouds at 9:09 PM
i hate technology!!! made me so reliant on it, and made me run around, trying to find a cure for my poor pc... and the sasser fix tool finally cleared my comp of sasser worm, by deleting 2 files from the comp... and it succeeded in finding the worm only after 3 or 4 tries!! imagine, i haven't been properly online for 5 days!! argh... life's a torture without the computer, so boring~
that explains why i haven't been blogging for such a long time...
actually i have got lotsa things to talk abt cos i've encountered some really inspiring, or rather some incident that made me stand up and think about life... i dunno how to put it in words, now that all the feelings have settled in... but luckily dear has already typed an email about it... gonna paste it later...
| posted by clouds at 9:07 PM
Monday, May 03, 2004
Penguins are my favourite animals currently... sooo cute... *nik nik nik* dear showed me this clip on the tv mobile on penguins... a few penguins were walking *nik nik nik* on the ice in some cold cold artic place... then one poor penguin fell down and slided on his belly the whole way thru while the rest of its frens just continued nik-niking down... his frens dun bother to help him up loh! so much for being in the same gang, ha ha... and i also rem dear's tissue pack cover is dear mr penguin... with it's black sparrow-tailed suit... impressive? hee...
sea lions... another one of my fav animals... hee.. if u all have watched "water boys" or "50 1st dates" u all would've noticed the sealions.. they're soo intelligent... can jump like a dolphin, clap and kiss... hee...
why all the animal talk suddenly? cos i've been to the zoo finally, after all these yrs... if i rem correctly, the last time i visited the zoo, it's in pri sch... that's such a long time ago!! the zoo has changed, a little i guess... nicer entrance, erm... same old smelly animals -- like poor mr polar bear, cool black sunbear, red-assed baboons, kangaroos and wallabies... arty FARTY mr hippo, and yucky rhinoceros...
maybe the next time i'll visit the zoo is another 10 yrs down the road? with my hubby and kids? i'll make sure they get to sit the new pram, despite having to rent it... and i'll make sure i'll workout enuff so that i won't get tired so easily... and i'll make sure i'll prepare sandwiches for my dear kids, so they won't go hungry so quickly...
ah, there i go dreaming again.. one day... one day i hope my dream come true? hee...
am i making sense nowadays? i dunno... ha ha... if u all dun understand wat i'm blogging nowadays... ignore me bah... ha ha...
| posted by clouds at 11:40 PM
