Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Love is a complex emotion, but most of us agree that it requires trust, respect, communication, communication and communication. Now that you've met someone online and actually said, "I love you," it's time to make your love real. Use these ten secrets to make your relationship last.
1. Keep on courting.Whatever you did to win your partner is worth repeating. Don't take love for granted. Continue with flowers, candy and thoughtful messages declaring, "I'm thinking of you," and "I miss you." The sum of all these little things will be greater than its parts.
2. Share responsibilities and control.Both of you should plan and arrange your dates. Resist the constricting roles of leader-follower, host-guest and driver-passenger. Romance requires energy and enthusiasm from both of you.
3. Focus on common interests.Work and responsibilities have a tendency to take over our personal lives. Remember to make time for the activities you both enjoy. This requires thoughtful planning in advance if you're going to attend that important concert or sports event.
4. Allow for separate interests.Participate in at least one non-professional activity that doesn't involve your partner. You can't be together 24/7, and everyone needs a hobby. It may seem odd to schedule time apart, but even short absences make the heart grow fonder.
5. Learn something new together.Take lessons, enroll in a class or participate in an endeavor that involves something altogether new to both of you. Maybe it's skydiving or painting or learning to dance. The point is to combine two pasts into a single present and a united future.
6. Establish traditions.Eat the same special meal each month to celebrate the day you met. Email each other at the same time each day. Make Saturday's your night. The goal is to create moments that are meaningful to you as a couple.
7. Write and send love notes.Handwritten letters are infinitely more romantic than store-bought cards. Expressing what's in your heart is more important than being poetic, so don't panic. If your handwriting sucks, hire a calligrapher. If you're creative, include a poem or a song.
8. Make your time together quality time.The trick is to be in tune with your partner. You don't have to be psychic. Just be observant, attentive and a good listener. A relationship means sharing joys and concerns - even when you don't cause them. And if your partner needs to let off steam, your empathy is what matters. You don't need to offer a solution.
9. Stay fit.Practice good health. Your body is important for romance. Take care of it.
10. Talk to each other.Romantic fires keep burning with the sparks that come from communication, communication and more communication.
| posted by clouds at 4:08 PM
